Dogfish Head India Brown Ale

Tonight announces my return to the world of beer following a brief period of whisky drinking, primarily due to an overindulgence on the former during the Spring Carnival and festive season, which came to a head on a certain day where just as much beer exited my stomach as did enter it... but that will remain another story.  Now I don't mind a nice Scotch or Irish Whisky, but it's not something you can really drink all the time, and in my opinion they are not capable of quenching a thirst the same way a great beer does.  

While standing over the wok this evening sizzling up a stir fry, I had a sudden Zen moment where I triumphantly decided... 'It is time to return'.  So without hesitation, I kicked the mistress to the curb and decided to stay true to the one I love most.  Upon opening the fridge to embark on a scouting operation to obtain intel on potential targets, I located an 'India Brown Ale' by Dogfish Head.  If you didn't already know, these guys mean serious business, and a number of their Ales have scored very highly amongst my reviews.  If you ever happened to catch 'Beer Wars' or 'Brew Masters' on Discovery, Dogfish Head was the brewery most prominently featured.  They quite often are behind some of the craziest shit in the industry, including a green beer brewed with algae.  They have even taken residue from archaeological digs, and attempted to recreate beer recipes as far back as 9000 years old!

I am going to be quite forthright in saying that I didn't even know what an 'India Brown Ale' was.  I know Brown Ales, and I know India Pale Ales...  but not necessarily an 'India Brown Ale'.  My initial guess is that this is some Frankenstinian combination of the two, that an unsupervised brewer mashed together in a rust ridden shed on a stormy night, reaching to the lightning and cackling towards the thunderous sky.  "It's Alive!" he would have shouted, had that not already been the tagline for their algae beer...

The pour of the beer is quite brilliant.  Even though it advertises as a brown ale of sorts, I was not expecting such a punishingly dark colour.  The look is almost like a Guinness sans the froth. The visual appearance really is great, and not all dark beers can say that, and despite not being a huge dark beer fan I was aching to get a taste. This is also where it gets difficult to describe.  There is so much going on here, in such a subtle fashion, that it truly has to be experienced rather than told.  This is like 'The Matrix' of beers.  There is caramel and brown sugar, there are dark roasted malts, there is bitter chocolate, there is the unmistakable wallop of hops...  BUT...  everything has been constructed so carefully and with such delicacy that the intimidation factor of this beer is miniscule.  This is better than building a perfect house out of playing cards, they've done it with Tetris blocks.

Fucking bravo.  This is an incredible achievement and an astonishing effort.  By no means is this my favourite beer, it would only be on the fringes of the ballpark, but purely in recognition of the talent and ability required to actually create this number I have to show respect where it is due.

God I love beer.

8/10

Temple Pale Ale

After Gage Road's less than inspiring Lager, the decision was made to return to my go to style of beer - the American Pale Ale.  These days the APA market is as gargantuan as Felix Baumgartner's testicles, and breaking into it is about as easy as bobsledding down a sand dune.  Temple is a brewery based on the northern side of the Yarra, in the hipster haven of Brunswick, and they have written the word 'beer' in no less than seven different languages on the bottle.  Not unlike a menu from a Fitzroy restaurant.  They have a decent range of beers from what I've seen on the shelf, but this will be the first cab off the rank for yours truly.

The pour of the beer is admittedly underwhelming.  The initial appearance is attractive, like a glass full of darkened honey in colour, but the body does present a bit like Kate Moss after a 3 day bender where she's only managed to eat a Salada and three Tic Tacs.  There is no haze or granulated elements in the body, it's just a clear glass of beer.  Lacking is that solid oomph that the stronger Pale Ales tend to pull off.

Taste-wise however, it doesn't really take many wrong steps.  The supporting flavours are very delicate, which does work seamlessly with the smooth feel of the beer.  Imagine headbutting a silk pillow, covered in caramel, malt and nuts.  It's all very laid back, except for the usual life of the party.  The hops aren't hiding away in the corner, and are as pronounced as John Travolta's chin during a 3D screening at IMAX.  It feels slightly off kilter at first, and while the pendulum never quite returns to center, there's enough balance to earn a passing grade.  If you like a smooth, hopped Pale Ale, then this is a solid beer.  Those who are looking for more of a firecracker will probably be disappointed.

There's enough to go off here to say that I would be interested in trying some other beers from Temple.  There is a time and a place for everything, and while this would never be my first choice, on a hot day it would still trump the watery beers that most people go for under these conditions.  I'm looking at you Corona.

6.5/10

Gage Roads Premium Lager

The last Gage Roads' beer that I had was their ambitiously titled 'Atomic Ale', which was most certainly a tasty and sessionable ale, but the problem with the marketing of that beer was that it was in fact about as atomic as Ethiopia's nuclear weapons program.  It was overall a very restrained and safe pale ale, that never quite picked up the nerve to take off it's seat belt.  It's probably logical to assume that a lager from the same brewery is not going to bring the house down, but given it was on sale and I was thirsty, in to the trolley it went.

Anyone that has been around the block once or twice on the beer circuit knows that seeing the words 'Premium', and 'Lager',  together on a bottle is more likely the firing of a warning shot to send you running, rather than a cunning ploy to lure drinkers in to a delicious ambush.  You see it all the time on a big brewer's labels, when in actual fact what lurks inside is watery fizzy yellow crap that you would only otherwise drink at an office christmas party or a wedding, because it's free and, well let's be honest, it still does the job when consumed in large quantities.  'Premium' in the beer world is more an attempt at compensation, rather than braggadocio.  It is the Porsche Cayenne of beer basically.

Gage's entry in to the world of 'Premium Lagers' starts off with a bang the size of a small cap gun, being fired by a midget, riding a Shetland pony.  The beer pours a light amber/yellow colour, with a weak fizz that eventuates in to nothingness.  The excitement I felt while eyeing off the glass was reminiscent of the the first time you watched Matrix Revolutions.  You know they've probably fucked it up, but you can always hope for the best.  The feel of the beer is sharp, and the carbonation has that biting sting to it.  It's slightly overkill and makes the beer feel artificial in my eyes.  The flavours though, are not bad at all.  The taste is light and grassy, with feint grains and malts.  Nothing exciting at all, but it's all taped together well enough that it doesn't fall apart on you like a Chinese motorcycle.

This is not a terrible beer, nor is it a good beer.  It's a 'slightly-better-than-the-big-guys' lager, but to be frank there are better alternatives on the market if you're into the bottom fermented variety of the world's favourite beverage.  I don't recommend you go out and buy it, but if you had to choose between this and a Pure Blonde or something, then Gage Roads would win by a nose.

4.5/10