St Ambroise Oatmeal Stout

An oatmeal stout is a beer I know very little about. Stouts and Porters are somewhat new to me still, so the only assumption I've made is that it is a stout... made with oatmeal. Cole Phelps up in here. Dark beers aren't really my bag, I'm warming up to them slowly but often the prevalent coffee element loses me.

This beer pours a deathly jet black and leaves the bottle looking like BP's contribution to marine environment. This is going to be some heavy shit. This is a powerful beer. It tastes like someone filled a vat with blocks of chocolate, oatmeal, malt and coffee beans and took a flamethrower to it. Dark, roasted flavours across the board. The taste is huge, and even a small sip gives you a world to dissect.

I can see the appeal, I really can, but I'm just not there yet. Drinking one of these is like sitting down to a meal, I feel like I've just had a roast dinner. I doubt I will ever reach for one of these beers over a really good pale ale but they are an interesting experience nonetheless.

6.5/10

Brooklyn East India Pale Ale

I am definitely an East Coast kinda guy. Wu Tang, Big L, Gang Starr... it's a no contest. When it comes to American beers however, I have to pledge my allegiance to the sunny coast. California especially boasts some hugely impressive breweries. Brooklyn Brewery's lager was a solid beer, but to really test whether a brewery can reach such wuthering heaights you need to try an ale. An IPA is even better.

This IPA is rather transparent, lacking the enticing cloudyness of a good India Pale Ale. The colour is an orange/brown blend, with little head. The feel of the beer is quite mild, not watery as such but far from heavy. Flavourwise it is very straightforward, and as uncomplex as it's appearance. Caramel malts, and an explosion of hops.

Everything is there, but in a slightly unrefined manner. The heavy reliance on hops for flavouring, provide an enticing initial hit but then leave your mouth drier than a dead dingo's donga. The balance wavers at this point, and the beer ends up as lopsided as Tori Spelling's baps.

All in all though, it's a good beer. It's a raw and gritty version of an IPA and won't ever be a favourite, but it's enjoyable nonetheless.

7.5/10

Silly Saison

Just as I had finished blowing smoke up Belgium's ass for their string of diverse and delicious ales, I reached for this less than inspiring beverage. Silly Saison is a Belgian brew, but with a standard AHV as opposed to many of it's peers. This one is a brown ale.

Silly Saison pours a slightly murky amber colour, with a strangely patchy head. This is the first beer I've encountered that suffers from Alopecia. The feel of the beer is pretty light, and surprisingly watery. The taste is almost indecipherable. It's syrupy sweet, with malts and some strange fruit flavours. It almost tastes like something out of a soda fountain.

I can't describe it exactly, but midway through a strange potent taste emerges and dominates throughout the aftertaste. It is the definition of 'leave a bad taste in your mouth'. It's kind of like ultra sweet raisins juice. Yeah. It tastes more like medicine than beer. Not impressed.

3/10

St. Feuillien Blonde

Good luck pronouncing the name of this one. I'm not sure if I've seen so many vowels in the one place. I really need to go to Belgium at some point. Belgian/Trappist beers aren't actually my no.1 preference, but the sheer breadth of versatile beers they produce is absolutely mind boggling. They are one of the very few countries that mass produce quality beers on a wide scale.

Almost each and every one of these beers is a piece of art. This is a 7.5% Golden Ale, and I've drunk light beers that are harsher. While the beer pours an unassuming transparent fizzy yellow, the taste is something to behold. The feel is weighted but still smooth, almost in a 70's Elvis-like fashion. The concoction tastes of spiced citric fruits, infused with stinging carbonation and a bitter finish.

Definite summer beer, extremely easy to drink but still packing as significant a kick as Roberto Baggio's penalty shot. With a six pack of these out in the son you would be three sheets to the wind in no time. Not as good as the Tripel Karmeleit, but probably just agonisingly close to the Duvel. That is the most respectable last place I can imagine.

7.5

Murray's Icon 2IPA

Murray's have some creatively titled beers, but their 2IPA bears the boring moniker of 'Icon'. Luckily, they have made up for this by displaying two kangaroos vigorously rooting on the label. Big IPA's have grown on me the most since undertaking this noble quest, and I have a soft spot for Murray's beers so I was eagerly filled with anticipation to sample this ale.

The pour does look very unique, it's somewhat of a peach colour and extremely dense and murky. A generous frothy head floats above, making it look somewhat like a glass of swamp mud with toxic foam emanating from the surface. This is strangely appealing in a way, as this is not a Czech Pilsner, it's a 2IPA. Rarely are they for the feint of heart.

If you loaded buckets of hops and caramel into a bazooka, and then aimed it directly at your face, then it might come close to the sensation you get when drinking this beer. Bitter pine hops spear their way through a creamy caramel topping, all encased in a full body. Don't get it twisted, this is not for everyone. If your palette can handle the onslaught, and your brain can compute what the hell is going on, then this is a great 2IPA.

Definitely rate it. Very good beer. Murray's have a staggering range of beers, all with essentially unique attributes. I salute you Muzza.

8.5/10

Samuel Adams Oktoberfest

Given the general gist of German Beers, and what you normally get with something named 'Oktoberfest', I was surprised to see a murky amber/brown ale pour out of the bottle. The only thing I can think of, is that while it's sunny over in Germany it's cold and windy in the US? So this may be the type of beer the yanks are after when it's 'their' Oktoberfest.

Nevertheless, Sam Adam's Oktoberfest is a deep malted ale with flavours richer than a piece of chocolate mud cake, sitting upon a solid gold plate, resting on Warren Buffet's dining table. Never fear, it's very clean and drinkable despite this and still remains a sessionable beer. Rather than being drunk by a rabble outdoors, it's probably better suited to a leather recliner and some good conversation.

It's all starting to make sense in the end. The Americans do love to claim everything as their own, and in this instance I'll waive them through the gate because this is a decent beer. At the end of the day there are more yellow/golden beers on the market than brown, so this was a surprise that was welcome in this instance.

7/10

Kirin Ichiban

I am unsure as to what the difference between a Kirin and a Kirin Ichiban is, but this one comes in a stomping big bottle with a half dragon half horse looking beast proudly brandishing a giant flowing beard. It could very well be an album cover of a Japanese death metal band.

It seems to resemble a normal Kirin in execution to be honest. Very, clean and crisp, and highly refreshing. Predominant flavours of corn and rice and a slightly hopped finish. Beer geeks might shirk at it because it doesn't hit you like someone mashing the punch button with E.Honda, but it doesn't need to. Kirin make palette cleansing beers that are fantastic to drink with asian food of all varieties. You don't exactly want a Chocolate Porter with your Szechuan Beef or Pork Gyoza.

Mano a mano against IPAs and Trappist beers, no it isn't going to stand up. But in terms of bettering it's peers in a
niche of the mainstream market, you can't fault it. Given the evolution of my tastes throughout this challenge Kirin no longer impresses me like it used to, but it's still a very reliable beer that you can find at most bottle shops. So if you're ducking into a BYO restaurant, and they don't have that obscure brown ale you like, always keep Kirin in mind.

6.5/10

Tripel Karmeleit

I have been a bit spoiled lately, as the latest batch of beers have all been very solid for the most part. Up next is yet another piece of Belgian craftsmanship, this time an 8.4% blond ale. The best I can do is compare with the Duvel, as it's a similar type of beer.

It should be noted that the beer has been brewed with pride and patience under 'carmelite tradition'. I am not at all sure why this should be noted, but I advise that you take notes regardless. Why? Because this is an absolute CRACKER of a beer.

It pours a hazy golden yellow, and appears like it has more depth than your average blond. No pun intended. The taste is a thunder clapping tropical storm. The feel of the beer is astonishingly heavy for a blond, but enigmatically refreshing at the same time. It doesn't have that oily texture either, it remains cleaner than Mother Teresa's swipe test after she passed through a Calcutta drug bus. The carbonation is fierce, but works in well with the other bold elements of the beer.

This really takes some skill. For once an archaic year on the label (such as the '1679' on this beer) actually makes sense. Sometimes you drink a beer that claims to have been around for centuries, and it still tastes like someone has wrung out Shaq's left sock after a triple overtime victory. Not the Tripel Karmeleit. There are generations of dedication and discipline bubbling inside this glass.

Fantastic beer.

9/10

Sierra Nevada Tumbler Brown Ale

I love these guys. Their Pale Ales are criminally thirst quenching and jam packed full of well balanced hops. I spotted this Brown Ale at the shop and was well stoked to give it a crack.

Speaking of crack, these beers should be in the same narcotic class. Despite being a deeper, darker style of ale the Tumbler is still effortlessly refreshing. It pours a deep auburn brown, but still with that trademark clean appearance. Sitting upon a base of crackling toasty burnt malts are smooth sweet caramels, with a nutty/toffee finish. If you get those ingredients on point, I can't see a why you could fail.

And on point they are. There is a definite pull on the reins in terms of hops, compared to this brewery's other offerings. This is not necessarily a bad thing as the balance is there as it is. A fair cry from their base crop, the Tumbler is a triumphant addition to the roster.

I am slightly concerned that after the effects of this substance wear off, that I will end up curled up in the corner of the room shaking uncontrollably fiending for my next hit. I feel like Tyrone Biggums... staring despondently at the now empty glass before me. Once this challenge is over and I can resume the life of a normal drinker, I will definitely grab a few sixers of SN from time to time.


8/10

Konig Ludwig Weissbier

You have a task set out before you Mr. Ludwig. Wheat beers are a bit of a 'meh' beer with me, as there really is little deviation between them. They probably have smallest breadth of variance amongst all beer genres, and after a while the anticipation becomes less and less exciting.

The label has a very regal golden crest on it, and the title of the beer is 'Royal Bavarian Hefeweizen'. You can almost feel the bottle looking down on you with an upturned nose, not at all amused by your peasantry. It pours a cloudy light mandarin orange colour, and looks mightily impressive for a wheat beer. The darker hue is visually superior compared to the often banana yellow that you often get with these beers.

And the taste... easy like Sunday morning. There's a smooth as polished marble feel to the beer, with a mixture of sweet candied toffee, malt and fruits. This is without a doubt one of my favourite wheat beers. A key factor is that the banana is restrained in the back seat. Maybe even the boot. On a warm summer's day, a chilled pot of Konig Ludwig's Weissbier will last about as long as a NOFX song on fast forward.

Great wheat beer, still simple as always, but very effective.

8/10

Leffe Radieuse

As I get closer to the end of this challenge, I'm going to have to dip in to some more expensive beers as they are becoming increasingly harder to find. The upside to this is that a lot of these wallet lighteners will end up being Belgian/Trappist ales such as this 'Redieuse' from Leffe. I'm not gonna lie though, I have no idea what Radieuse means.

The beer pours an amazing deep brown/plum like colour with a huge foaming head that climbs vertically out of the liquid, bursting to the surface. It is really a sight to behold. There is a distinct whiff of alcohol as I neared the glass to my nose, indicating the 8.2% volume may not be so well hidden. The Belgians are normally masters of deception, so this was somewhat of a surprise.

The first taste I notice is sweet malts, followed by a tart fruityness that I can only compare to plums or figs. Some sort of dark fruit anyway. There is a thin layer of toffee in there as well, before a very clean finish. There is barely even a hint of alcohol, almost as if it was absorbed into the vacuum of my nose before the liquid reached my mouth. The gaping divide between the nose and the taste is about as wide as Derek Kickett.

It is an amazingly well brewed beer. There are some rich flavours in here that all just sit subtly next to each other without competing. Imagine trying to keep the peace outside the interview room for the next season of MTV's 16 and Pregnant. That's a tall order. Great beer, similar quality to the Duvel, but I like this just a little bit more.

8.5/10

Duvel

This beast is an 8.5% Belgian Golden Ale. Can a Golden Ale, normally a pillar of all that is crisp and refreshing, still cleanse the palette and quench the thirst while bearing such a high AHV?

The answer is yes. The Belgians have the beer game on lock.

Duvel pours a transparent but vibrant straw coloured yellow, with a full frothy head. Clean pale malts charge at you like a raging bull, before a sea of citric fruits cascade over the top. The alcohol is surpressed right up until the aftertaste, where it firmly dominates with a warm buzz.

Everything here is quite basic, the ingredients aren't complex, but everything feels like it has been examined under a magnifying glass. The overall feel still really qualifies as light, but everything has punch. With knuckledusters. For an 8.5% Golden Ale, knocking one down is far from a 7/10 split.

Nowhere near as creative or outrageous as many others, but it's a very clean cut beer that will quickly have you blurring at the edges if you've got a handful to drink.

8/10

Kosciusko Pale Ale

'Kosi', as it is affectionately known, is Australia's highest peak. While we aren't exactly famous for our mountains, given that the entire country is pretty much as flat as a Women's 200m freestyle gold medalist, it's still a bold claim to attach the moniker to anything. I reckon if you handed a Sherpa a stubby of 'Everest Ale' he'd be expecting some next level shit.

The beer pours a very pale yellow, with a hint of murkiness to it. The head looks pretty fluffy nonetheless. The taste... well it really is a touch boring. Mainly it tastes like grains and apples. It's more like a high fibre breakfast cereal than a beer. The aftertaste is only mildly bitter, and it's almost stepping slightly into cider territory. The one holding point to the beer is the body, which has a creamyness to it that is reinforced by the pronounced head that the beer carries.

It is grudgingly refreshing, but the flavours are a strange beast. There's not a lot there, and what you do get tends to leave you confused. This is a country mile behind the better Pale Ales that this country produces, so I really can't recommend it.

5.5/10

Schnitzer Brau German Hirse Premium

*Facepalm*

I really need to start checking labels more closely when I go to stock up on a trunk full of single beers. This is an 'Organic and GLUTEN FREE' beer. Gluten free beer is like an explosion free Michael Bay flick, or a cocaine free Charlie Sheen. Where is the fun in any of these situations? Nowhere, that's where.

This is a really shit beer. I'm not going to dance around the issue, it's terrible. It pours a thin, watery, 'almost-yellow' colour. The flavour... it feels wrong even calling it that. It's kind of grainy, with a squeeze of lemon in it. I don't even want this anymore. I feel like I'm watching an old friend get tortured. It's like George Lucas decided to make a 'director's cut edition' of beer.

I know this gluten free thing is huge these days, and people who can't ingest gluten would like to be able to drink a beer. The fact of the matter is, THIS IS NOT BEER. Wheat, grains and barley (which are all sources of gluten) are KEY ingredients to a beer. If you remove them, you basically have water... and some random other crap that they don't use to make beer. Just drink a vodka or tequila guys, honestly, if you can't have gluten then really you are shit out of luck if you want to drink a beer. The shit is basically gluten water.

1/10

Stoke Dark

Alright Paleo Water. I don't like you, you don't like me, but let's just get this over with. This is the last of Stoke's underwhelming series of beers that I have trudged through on this leg of the journey. These beers have been brewed with the sturdy precision of Michael J Fox armed with a Gatling Nerf gun. Dark beers can be hard to master, so I'm concerned as to how the shotgun approach will fare under these conditions.

This ale looks like dark cola syrup, and could easily be mistaken for a stray glass of Pepsi sitting on the table. Before my mouth even reached the glass I was socked in the nose by something reminiscent of an overhand right from Chuck Liddell. Chocolate and coffee aromas spewed forth from the glass, encapsulating my skull in a swirling mist of mocha. The flavour... is surprisingly focused compared to it's siblings. It's basically chocolate, malts and coffee. The beer is balanced enough though. While still feeling slightly 'cheap', there is some harmony to be had here. The aftertaste is draped in bitterness, but more of a sweet bitterness than dry.

This is not a bad Dark Ale. I have a bit of an aversion to coffee, so these 'mocha' beers will almost always miss the mark with me. It's a bit watery and tacky, but as a Dark Ale for the mass market it is an acceptable beer. New to the scene? Not a bad place to start. Had a fair few Dark Ales? Been there, done that.

5.5/10

Matilda Bay Bohemian Pilsner

In a sense Matilda Bay gets some both unfair hate and praise all at the same time. They make some very good craft style beers, but there are many brewers who outdo them to significantly less fanfare. And distribution. This is one of, it not the only, beer in their lineup I haven't actually sampled before. The label claims that MB have made a hearkened call back to the 1800's when the first Bohemian Pilsners were brewed.

I somehow doubt it. The feel is watery, which is perhaps to be expected, but it's really the flavours that go kaput. The hops are barely noticeable, it's the malts that dominate... but by saying dominate I'm more insinuating that Wee Man won a fight against Mini Me. Yes, there was a victor, but at the end of the day they are both still midgets. There's the trademark Pils carbonation sting... and that's about all folks.

It is easy to drink, and somewhat refreshing, so is fairly well suited to the Australian market due to our summer weather. If you're looking to take some of the burn out of the sun and demolish a beer, this one will do it, but you will barely notice it before it's gone. Average beer, nothing bad about it but nothing exciting either.

6/10

Grimbergen Dubbel Double

For my first beer after defeating a stomach virus, I really wanted something fleet of foot as the guts were still a bit fragile. After banishing a sink full of dishes, I turned to the fridge in eagerness to see what I could muster to quench my longing thirst for a beer. It's been almost a week, which I find personally offensive.

To my dismay...everything in there was either a dark ale or some Trappist looking rocket launcher. I was just going to have to dive in to the shallow end and hope I didn't hit my head. I know nothing at all about this beer, but a 6.8% Dubbel is probably going to be about as nimble as a Japanese Yokozuna running an agility test, wearing Dutch clogs.

Scratch that... this beer is more like a Japanese Yokozuna running through a field of berries waving a Katana. You garner a split second of sweet malts before both sweet and sour red berry flavours carve through your tastebuds. The feel of the beer is pretty watery for a Dubbel. The warm sweet finish is even remiscent of something like Sherry or Port.

This is something different for sure, and really not at all what I wanted but I won't let that get in the way. It is a well made beer(perhaps with a slightly too slender body), but it zips a few circles away from my bulls eye. Belgian beer heads and Trappist fans will get a bit of a kick out of it, if that is your thing.

7/10

Murray's Angry Man Pale Ale

Apologies for the delay, I've been out of action with a bout of gastro and had to put the beer drinking on hold. I actually drank this one the night I got sick, and never got to upload it... I'll try and catch up with a few more beers over the weekend.

With such a crowded boutique beer market emerging, having a striking name will become increasingly important to lure in curious punters. Murray's are already on top of their game in this aspect, hosting a number of eye catching titles. Here we have the 'Angry Man' Pale Ale, sporting a boxing kagaroo duking it out with...what I presume to be an angry man. Rather than stick to one pale ale, Murray's actually have a few different feathers in this cap.

Angry Man pours a hazy light Brown, and to be honest looks fairly unasuming. Still... presentation isn't everything. The immediate flavour you get is of tropical fruits, most notably passionfruit, with an overidding spicyness. There's a late burst of hops before a dry bitter finish. It's almost like an adults version of a 'Pasito', if anyone grew up with that soft drink.

It reminds me a little of Stone & Wood's Pacific Ale. Then again it has been some time since I sampled one of those. The name of the beer is proving to be puzzling, as this beer is far from angry. Rather, it is as relaxed and laid back as Arj Barker with five cones under his belt. I can picture myself laid out on a deck chair on the beach knocking this back without a care in the world. I am the unangriest man on the planet right now while drinking this beer.

8.25/10

Brew Dog Punk IPA

After the, in a sense, anti-climatic Big Dipper from Little Creatures I thought it might be fitting to try another reputable IPA to compare. Brew Dog have a go hard or go home attitude, so can this IPA out-punch a DIPA that should have naturally been in a whole other weight division?

The Punk IPA poured a lighter, cloudier orange than the Dipper and with murkier depths. Not as aesthetically pleasing, but perhaps more intriguing. Why so cloudy sunshine? And the taste...

HOPS UP IN YOUR GRILL.

They are perched front row center screaming furiously like a 12 year old Justin Bieber fan. The punch is instant, and swings with far more anger than the Big Dipper. The thing is though, it's not always about a slug fest. You need to land. The precision isn't as tight. There are some nice, almost tropical fruit flavours briefly in the intermission, before a dry bitter close of the curtains.

Great beer, easy to drink but very pronounced at the same time. At the end of the day though, with all things considered, it simply isn't a better beer. The whole IPA/DIPA thing aside, the Big Dipper does just taste that little bit better. Classifications, trends, marketing wank aside... what really matters most?

8/10

Little Creatures Single Batch 'The Big Dipper'

After a long afternoon battling the world's most infuriating computer virus, I decided that I deserved to sit down and knock off this single batch from Little Creatures. 'The Big Dipper' is a double IPA, that I understand is released in a limited batch each year. The name comes from the famous seven star constellation, and LC have incorporated seven different types of hops in tribute. It sits at 7.8%, which is a slightly tamer AHV for a double IPA if I am not mistaken.

The beer pours a vibrant orange, and looks reminiscent of the Little Creatures' brand. I was expecting to be throttled by a BP proportion oil slick of hops... but surprisingly, this DIPA is quite smooth. Maybe even too smooth. This is nowhere near as punchy as most of, if not all of the DIPA's I've had before. The flavours are fantastic though, the piney bitterness is there in spades and there's an orange peel citric effect. It is flat out delicious, but if anything it really tastes more like a slightly pumped up LC Pale Ale than a stand alone DIPA.

It's a bizarre situation really. It's almost as if a band you really liked said they were going to take a change of direction, and then after the anticipation you listened to the new album and it was simply an amplified version of their original style after all. It still hits the spot, so why be upset? Everything just as likely could have gone to shit. Little Creatures make great beers, this is another one, just don't expect something left field.


8.5/10

Coldstream's Naked Ale

Coldstream is another amongst the ever growing crowd of Victorian breweries. This ambiguously named 'Naked Ale' is in fact a Golden Ale as described by the label. I will say that the beer poured more of a copper colour than golden, visually resembling an American style Ale. The body looked reasonably heavy, before lightening up as the dust settled. For a golden ale, it looked great so far.

There are some light caramel and toffee flavours, a light sting of carbonation and a bitter hopped finish. Everything is very carefully balanced, with not a single attribute standing out. In this sense, Naked Ale is a jack of all trades but master of one. There was nothing in particular that wowed me about this beer, but everything has been done to a standard.

I'm starting to see where the title came from. It is safe to say that if you started the evening with a fridge full of these, you could easily end up naked at some point before the night's end. Quite easy to drink, balanced flavours, hopped finish. It is not a glorious triumph in the world of beer making, but a healthy addition to ranks of Melbourne micro brewers.

7/10

Stoke Gold

So here I am, venturing back to the land of Paleo Water. The term sounds like something they would sell at the Jurassic Park cafeteria, to help wash down your jam filled Diplodonuts. After the somewhat underwhelming experience of Stoke's Amber offering, I went in to this one anticipating much of the same.

The beer pours a hazy golden hue with a fluffy head. Encouraging visuals so far. While not taking the sledgehammer approach of the Amber, there is little subtelty here either. To say this beer is balanced, would be akin to calling politicians honest. From what I can make out there are some sharp malts, before a a mild floral and hopped finish. There is about as much harmony here as a Grade 4 orchestra's first attempt at playing Mozart's Requiem. Stoke's snarling attitude perhaps lands an inch closer to the bulls eye with the Gold as opposed to the Amber, as some Golden Ales can feel a little bit flimsy in their attempts to be clean, summer beers.

The body/feel of the beer is actually refreshing. It has a moderate weight, but goes down quite easily despite the off kilter flavours. It isn't a bad beer, but it still really feels like a beta version... Stoke Gold 0.65. You don't get the feeling of a complete product. Was this rushed to market? I'm not sure, but in my opinion there is still work to be done to shave off some of the edges.

6/10

Mort Subite Xtreme Framboise

Brewers really need to be careful when they start getting all Frankenstein with their beers. Often these concoctions end up being crammed full of so much fruit that they would sooner resemble a UDL. I did sample a Raspberry beer from Jamieson earlier in the challenge, and it was surprisingly tasty. The mind does bend a bit, because often when I feel like a beer I'm after a savoury drink as opposed to sweet... if that makes sense. The Jamieson was a bit of both, sweet and then savoury. Seeing as this beer dubbed itself 'Xtreme', I was expecting a larger turn out from the raspberry crowd.

The beer comes in a 250ml bottle... which is a bit disappointing already. It pours an amazing thick cloudy red colour, with a huge frothy head. You are immediately whacked in the face with a sensation that would resemble plowing head first into a raspberry bush after a failed sky diving manouvere. The glass was completely at arms length, and still the aroma was perforating into my skull.

The feel of the beer is traditionally Belgian, in that the body feels weighted, and slightly 'oily' as it moves around your mouth. I've gotten use to this by now, and to be honest I tend to like a beer with a solid feel. The flavour though... wow... there's not much else to say except that this is raspberry as fuck. There is a genuine burst of the red berry, that is very sweet, but just delicately dances along the line of almost being over the top... but not quite. There is a beer in there somewhere I'm sure, but it's very hard to find. You've heard the reports, you've seen the legends, but haven't been able to witness it in real life. Like the Loch Ness Monster, or indicators being used on BMWs.

So in summary... this is delicious, but really hard to compare to anything else as a 'beer'. I fear that if you drank 2 or 3 of these in short succession you may very well turn in to a raspberry. I think a 7 is fair, because I quite enjoyed it but it is never going to be considered amongst my favourite beers... because it hardly tastes like one.

7/10

Cubanero Fuerte

Arrr me hearties! This scurvy dog has sailed in all the way from the isle of Cuba. I have to say though that the pirate on the label is one of the most unintimidating pirates I have ever seen. No beard. No parrot. No eye patch. Maybe I am completely mistaken, and it is simply pirate hats that are all the rage in Cuba right now, and this is just a picture of Hector from down the road.

What we have here is a run of the mill macro lager. Pours a very boring transparent darkish yellow, with your standard fizzy bubbles. The taste begins very clean, before a near sickly sweet maltiness wades in and throws you overboard. It certainly does not taste anything like the kind of swill that Blackbeard would have enjoyed upon many a long voyage. Adversely, it's more of a Rebecca Black beer.

On one hand it's great that you can get so many different beers from all over the world, but at the same time... what's the point? I feel like I've had this beer so many times already. A light, fizzy, yellow lager. Everything is so tame, that the vague differences don't even matter. Once this challenge is done, unless one of these type of beers is forced in to my hand, I will never exchange money for one again.

If you were laying on the beach in Cuba, and some bloke rolled by selling one of these for 50c, then sure count me in. But when in a bottle shop surrounded by alternatives, there would be no choice but to make it walk the plank.

3/10

Burleigh Brewing Co My Wife's Bitter

This beer definitely garnished a chuckle as I spotted it sitting on the shelf. I immediately stuck it under my arm, as I've enjoyed some of the other creative offerings from BBC so far. The only problem was I didn't switch on to what sort of beer it was. After a few hours of drinking and gambling on cup day, I strolled up to the local fish n chip shop to grab a burger. I really just wanted something basic to wash it down with, and assumed this might just be a nice Aussie bitter lager. Hovering over the fridge with burger in hand there was no time for label reading, so I just yanked it off the shelf.

Fail.

I later reeled as a dark burnt toffee coloured stream leaped from the bottle into my glass. Behold a bitter English Ale. Completely not what I wanted. There are some well flavoured English Ales out there, but they often just feel flat and dreary. Perhaps mirroring their makers.

With this one, we get much of the same. Biscuits and toffee, with relatively low carbonation, but admittedly enough to do the job. The anticipated bitter finish is tamer than one would expect, given the title of the beer. Maybe the brewer's wife is bitter, but he certainly doesn't seem to be in the doghouse. Yet.

I don't really think these type of beers have a huge place in Australia. They aren't the greatest served cold and they aren't overly refreshing. Decent winter beer perhaps, but once the sun comes out I can hardly think of a style of beer I would avoid more. An encouraged take on the genre though.

6/10