Peroni Gran Riserva

Peroni is one of my favourite Euro Lagers. That doesn't really say a hell of a lot though, because the euro pale lager/pilsner market for the most part is about as exciting as watching paint dry on Gordon Brown's face while he conducts a speech on economic policy. This 'Gran Riserva' is, I'm assuming, an attempt at marketing a 'Premium' batch. I can't say I'm expecting much more than a slightly bulkier version of their normal fare.

Not exactly on point there. It pours a darker yellow than I expected, and looks weightier than a run of the mill fizzy Euro lager. Have you ever had that sweet sticky malt honey? We randomly had one of those old school milkshake makers from the 50s when I was a kid, and used to keep some malt honey around to make malted chocolate milkshakes. That's the best comparison I can make with this beer. It's almost sickly sweet, and tastes like being beaten to a pulp with a malt stick. Hops arrive fashionably late to the party, but by this point it's almost insignificant.

Much like a goat with the head of a duck, this is a strange beast. It certainly has more depth than a Peroni... but is the depth necessary? Peroni's are very refreshing and easy to knock back, but that aside have the personality of Lara Bingle. This beer has far more to talk about... but are the topics really that interesting? It's a bit of a weirdo. I'll let you decide on your own.

5/10

Ambar Pale Ale 1900

I've had a few lagers lately, so I thought to myself... "Gee I'd like a nice ale tonight". After flicking through some of the beers in my fridge I came to this, 'Ambar Pale Ale 1900'. Any Pale Ale that has been around for over a hundred years must be alright hey? Even if it ends up run of the mill, it's still better than a bog stock lager isn't it? Even though the label looks like it was made on MS Word 97, it can't be THAT bad can it? If 'Yes' is the answer to those questions then we are like minded.

From the moment I poured this beer in to the glass, I was thinking WTF. It poured a fizzy lemon yellow euro piss lager colour, and smelt quite odd. Okay. You can't always be too judgmental at this point, so let's wait and see what it tastes like...

Get fucked. This is as much a Pale Ale as Katie Perry is a candidate for Mensa. It tastes like a mass produced, bottom of the barrel lager. I am increasingly angry at the fact it is parading itself as a Pale Ale. Maybe it was top fermented and has been labelled as such on a technicality, but regardless of the fact, you can't put this shit in a bottle and label it a Pale Ale.

Mind state is more important with food and drink than a lot of people give it credit for. Ever drunk a VB after a 1 point win, compared to a 50 point belting? It tasted different didn't it? This is not dissimilar, I am so disappointed in this beer that it feels right now like one of the worst beers I've ever drunk.

2/10

Pistonhead Low Ridin Lager

This is an interesting looking lager, bearing the title of 'Pistonhead'. According to the can, it is a 'smooth brew for the laid-back hot rodder'. Interesting angle I guess... to predominantly target yourself at an ever shrinking crowd of gearheads. I do like the design on the can, and it is striking, and I am a bit of a petrol head myself. This beer is from a mecca of motoring, where you ask? Not Detroit. Not Bathurst. STOCKHOLM. Yes that's right, it's bloody Swedish!

Pistonhead's 'Low Ridin Lager' pours a completely transparent yellow, looking slightly tacky to be honest. Doesn't look appealing at all. There is a slightly fizzy lager head, but that's about it. The taste is very light, and clean, and the prominent flavours are malt and honey. The afertaste is heavily hopped for a lager, but it is too little too late. It hasn't been tuned properly, the engine stalled off the line, and by the time it has shifted in to gear the flag has already been waved.

Pretty disappointing beer really. It's fairly easy to put down, and would go OK as a summer beer, but for a land that doesn't experience summer it kind of renders itself unnecessary. Frankly it isn't good enough to be a major imported beer, I believe they have a wider range so I hope to high hell some of those are more leadfooted on the throttle.

4/10

Na Biretta Chiara

This is an Italian Pilsner style lager, in a very fashionable receptacle. This beer looks ready to stroll down the catwalk in Milan, throwing down a Blue Steel or two. While it did look slightly on the fancy side, I wasn't expecting too much. This is usually the best setting, when expectations are low, and this would turn out to be none different. The NBC pours a cloudy golden colour with a frothy head, and does look fantastic for a lager. It definitely appears chunkier than what I expected for a Euro Pilsner.

This Pilsner is hugely refreshing, staying nimble without being watery. Grains, malts, and a bitter hopped finish. Very basic, but well produced. The Na Biretta Chiara has a lot of life to it, it's almost the Alfa Romeo of lagers. I say almost because it certainly isn't as daring as an Alfa, and the bottle didn't break on the way home from the bottle shop.

This is a killer summer beer though, very easy to drink, and more depth than a Peroni or something of the like. Great Italian beer, like most lagers it isn't going to knock up a huge score, but it's at the top of it's restricted class. Quite possibly the best Italian beer I have drunk. Haven't had any others in a while to accurately compare, but it's at the very least on par.

6.5/10

Murray's Punch and Judy's Ale

Murray's are the shit. I love how they haven't just done the "We'll do one of those, and one of those and one of those" in terms of their lineup. They have a whole swag of different Pale Ales, and every single one is deserved of it's place on the roster. This one advertises itself as a low alcohol (which I wasn't aware of pre-purchase) beer that defies the notion
that dropping the concentration leads to reduced flavour.

The AHV however is 3.9%. Still over one standard drink. It's a strong mid-strength. So, one must wonder what was the point? It doesn't really give you that much room to breathe if you are trying to stay under .50 as opposed to a full strength beer? You know what? It doesn't fucking matter, because this is freaking delicious. The dark golden brown ale puffs out a huge frothy head, and washes down quicker than Paris Hilton's gynecologist. Sweet malts, bursting fruits, bitter hops. There is a touch less bite to it, but you can't knock the taste.

I suppose this barely classifies as a mid strength, and it is damn near the best I've ever had. LC's Rogers Beer is very good, and this is around the same level. After a long Christmas day it was a good night cap after a day of drinking Coronas. A tried and true session beer.

8/10

Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Urbock

Well that's a name and a half. 'Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Urbock', sounds almost like the title of a wealthy German lord. The label has been constructed in such a way, that it looks like it could be a secret document drawn up by a Bavarian pirate fluent in the art of treasure map cartography. Upon finding the only sembelence of the English language on the bottle, it appears this a smokebeer.

I am not even fucking with you right now. This beer smells like bacon. I had to ask my girlfriend to whiff it just convince myself I hadn't gone insane. What sorcery is this? I am left pondering what delights or horrors await me inside this glass. I've had some beers that have been 'smoked', and often stouts are a bit burnt, but I'm unsure as to whether I've had something that smells like the aftermath of an inferno at a pig pen.

The taste is something to behold. It tastes like planting your tongue on smoking embers of wood. Hits very heavy at first, and I was left wondering how I was going to get through a 500ml bottle for a moment. Gradually as you burst through the clouds of ash and in to the open, some sweetened malts start to waft by to slightly counteract the smoke. The finish is sour and bitter, but not necessarily in a bad way.

Haven't had too many bock beers so this is still a new experience. I can't say that it tastes amazing because at the moment it's a touch intense. This is definitely a 'grow on you' style of beer. Still, it feels like a very well crafted beer and I'd be game to give it another go. I had always wondered what it would be like to faceplant in to a campfire, so at least I can check that one off this list for now.

7/10

Moa Pale Ale

Why the hell have I never heard of these guys before now? Moa is officially one of the best Kiwi brewers I've ever come across. Monteith and Macs have been the most talked about in my experience. Moa is right up there. I'm not even going to pad out the suspense till the end, I'm just gonna say straight off the bat that this is a fantastic American style Pale Ale.

It pours a browny/orange colour, with swirling clouds and snarling carbonation as it leaves the bottle. I remember the lager was similar, tamer, but similar. I don't know if the Ruination really did ruin my taste buds, like yesterday's Red Ale, this APA is noticeably bitter due to the immense presence of hops. All I can taste initially is hops. Sweet roasted malts sneak through with a hint of caramel, but it's all just some wrapping paper around the box of hops.

Hugely refreshing, perfectly carbonated, smooth and bitter. Really enjoyed this. The beer is smooth but aggressive at the same time in a daringly unique way. It's like Nate Dogg...if he gotten bitten by a rabid raccoon during a 3 day speed bender. I recommend this to anyone who likes Pale Ales. I will just finish with one thing though... they could probably do without the deceptively large and heavy bottle. It looks huge...it's just a 375. The glass is just thicker than Kirsty Alley's left thigh. The beer is pricey enough already without this not so necessary encasing.

8/10

St Peters Ruby Red Ale

The bottle that this beer comes in is quite impressive, and is apparently a version of an 18th century oval bottle. The St Peters brewery is also situated in a medieval hall that was established in 1280. That is some old school shit right there.

Staying true to it's name, the beer pours a deep clouded ruby red. There is little to no head, which is a common theme with British beers. The flavour does strike like a Knight and is far more heavily hopped than a majority of Red Ales I've had in the past. Without a doubt, this is the most bitter Red Ale I can remember drinking. Intimidating at first, but adjustable over time. Gradually sweet malts, toffee, and caramel begin to emerge and smoothe out some of the edges.

Nothing can blunt this blade though. The bitter hops slice through like a knife to butter leaving all else in their wake. It's maybe overhopped, as I would have liked to have gotten more of the caramel and toffee before being struck in the head by a mace. Still, this is a good beer. Those inexperienced in battle may fall on their own sword though.


7.5/10

Stone Ruination IPA

This IPA came highly recommended by a guy down at Acland Cellars. It also came with a similarly lofty asking price. I really don't want to fill up the remainder of this challenge with cheap imported lagers, which was the easy option, so I decided to bite the bullet. The beer comes with an epic blurb on the bottle, which really is so long and outlandish there is no point trying to lay out an abridged version. Let's just say that this beer is Stone's liquid poem to the glory of the hop!

Thus, I prepared myself. 7 or 8 months ago such a ludicrously hopped beer would have left me broken and bruised, lying on the ground drowning in a pool of bitterness. My developed appreciation for the little green flower has allowed me to developed a tolerance now, and I am better able to deconstruct the different elements of the beer rather than just reel in horror.

The Ruination claims that it is so overhopped it will ruin your palette, thereafter rendering any other beer too boring to consider. The IPA pours a cloudy peach colour, looking somewhat ugly but attractive at the same time. Interestingly the cloudiness dissipates rather quickly. As described, the taste is akin to a battering ram breaching through the door to your taste buds. The bitterness is immense.

Incredibly, after you begin to fine tune your senses like the knobs on a transistor radio, everything starts smoothing out. The crackling distortion fades, and clarity is found. For what is basically an avalanche of hops and a bee's dick of malt, the beer is ingeniously balanced.

At the start it was maybe sitting around an 8...8.5. But this is a 9. I'm not going to rate anything perfect, but it is thereabouts as close as anyone is going to get.

9/10

Ambar Cerveza Especial

There isn't a lot of information that can be found on this beer. Couldn't really find a lot of info online with a quick google, and the bottle is in Spanish. So the beer is Spanish, this is the most I have gathered. The beer pours a very unimpressive fizzy lager yellow, perhaps if anything slightly darker than usual. Like a Spaniard...really.

The taste is fairly basic. It's a mainstream lager. Lightly hopped, sweet malts, fizzy carbonation. It goes down pretty easy, as it's meant to. It would be a fine accompaniment to a meal under the sun in Madrid I guess. I'm trying to pad this out a bit here, because I really struggle to get excited about mass produced lagers nowadays.

So I'll keep this short and sweet. If this is what they are serving at the bar you're at in Spain, you can be rest assured that it is an acceptable lager and vanilla enough for almost anyone to drink.


4/10

Wicked Elf Witbier

Here concludes my bevy of beers from The Little Brewing Co. So far they have been fairly solid. Not a wildly innovative bunch, but the point is that is far from an insult. Everything I've tried has been true to form, and they deserve their spot amongst Australia's prominent microbreweries. Last cab off the rank is a witbier, which was timely because something light is all I could go for in my currently hungover state.

The beer looks impressive in the glass, bearing a huge frothy head sitting atop a cloudy golden yellow body. The feel of the beer is great, light and soft like a fluffy marshmallow. The flavours are your standard fare of citrus siblings, lemon and orange, and the run of the mill wheat infused with stinging carbonation. The latter though is a touch toned down, the bubbles are noticeably lighter than your normal witbier.

This is a very smooth, but somewhat reserved customer. Some witbiers pack a sharp punch, whereas this has it's head up in the clouds. Less Latrell Sprewell, more Manute Bol. It's a good witbier, but with such subtle variations between them it has become a very crowded market. If someone asked me my favourite I wouldn't even know what to say, as at the end of the day, it's a much of a muchness isn't it?

7/10

Moa Original Lager

Australian's seem to wear a reputation for 'being able to drink', and especially carry a penchant for being obsessed with beer. While flying slightly under the radar, the Kiwis aren't far off the pace. They can knock them back with the world's best, and also are quite adept at producing their own quality alcoholic beverages. Probably more famous for their wine, they should be just as celebrated for their beers.

Moa describes itself as 'beer for Olympians'. I was slightly hesitant after reading this as I assumed this meant it was packed full of human growth hormone and masking agents. I have to say the label is extremely basic and very unimaginative, and after numerous trips to this particular bottle shop it's the first time I've even noticed it. An this is even when scouring painfully for beers I haven't tried yet.

The beer pours that fizzy yellow lager colour with no head, but upon further inspection contains a nice cloudy hue. It tastes slightly sweet, slightly bitter, with a very pleasant feel. It is as smooth as the polished marble floors in Pierce Brosnan's hallway. This is unbelievably easy to drink and would turn any recovering alcoholic into Humphrey Bogart within minutes. It's extremely basic, so the score reflects that, but don't get it twisted - this is a great beer.

6.5/10

Mad Abbot Dubbel

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. This is an Aussie brewer's attempt at whipping up a Belgian Dubbel. These are the same guys that brought us the Wicked Elf Pale Ale. Will it lack the lustre that only hundreds of years of dedication and mastery can bring? The secrets of the Trappist monks are not widely spread, and a lot harder to imitate than a Witbier or Pale Ale.

The beer pours a reddish brown, with an absolutely perfect frothy head. The flavours are immediately impressive. There are sweet and spicy fruits, dark malts, with a hint of hops at the finish. The blend of flavours would even raise an eyebrow in Bruges. I can wholeheartedly say this beer tastes fantastic. The news is not all good however. Maybe it's the lack of holy water, but this does not feel like a Belgian Ale. At all. The feel is more local. It's light, and sharp on the carbonation. It's pretty refreshing given it's a Dubbel and this would no doubt be a suitably sessionable beer.

So now there's a decision to be made. Is this an attempt AT a Belgian Ale? Or an attempt to modify the style to the local climate? I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. This would not hold up in a direct comparison, but let's ditch the framework. As a beer, on it's own, this is solid. Big on the flavour, easy to knock back. Like Californian Mexican food or Asian Fusion restaurants... it might not please the traditionalists, but if it feels good - do it.



7.5/10

Lobethal Bierhaus Christmas Ale

I don't know if it's just me, but Jelly Belly jellybeans have always amazed the shit out of me. How they manage to pack an almost pitch perfect recognisable flavour in to a singular jelly bean is a question that will plague mankind for generations. Some are bewildered by advancing microchip technology... while I stare down at at a small coloured bean. Next level flavour sensation. The reason I bring this up, is that Lobethal have walked a similar path with this 'Christmas Ale'.

The beer pours a rich dark brown colour, almost black from some angles. It kind of looks like a Christmas pudding. The head is small, and there is a big aroma wafting from the surface. The taste is of Christmas cake. Dark malts and spiced fruits. I'm going to readily admit that I don't even like Christmas cake. At all. But I am amazed at the transition that has taken place with this beer. It is tastier than any Christmas cake I've ever eaten in my life.

This beer is like Avatar. It's about the spectacle. Slack jawed and amazed at what has been achieved... but also acknowledging in the aftermath that you've been somewhat duped in the process. Do you really want a beer that tastes like Christmas cake? Does Pocahontas really need to be in 3D with blue skinned Rastafarian Aliens? I have been successfully distracted by something shiny. The novelty value is worth the price of admission alone I guess.

7/10

St Feuillien Tripel

And here completes the Trifecta from this Belgian brewer. This is an 8.5% Triple and will likely cement them as another consistent performer that I have encountered on this quest. I've never been a big wine drinker, but in terms of beer, the gulf between a VB and a Belgian Trappist ale stretches as far as John Goodman's underwear during an attempt at breaking a world record for squatting. A lot of people whinge about the prices for 'non mainstream' or 'craft' beer, but when you compare it to other forms of alcohol where such an expanse is accepted, it's almost fair enough.

The Tripel pours a glorious blonde colour, and looks far from thin and watery. There is definite curves on the body, it's like Scarlett Johansson in a glass. The initial taste is fresh and spicy, and taste almost like a apples and pears. Maybe grapes as well. The image I'm getting is light coloured fruits... if that makes sense. The carbonation is punchy, if anything a touch overdone, but still adds a good sting. The finish is all bitter hops and a warm alcoholic afterburner.

They are too expensive to be regular haunts, but I'll definitely continue grabbing a few Belgian or local micro singles along with my six pack. Generally best to be sampled and enjoyed while chilling out on the couch, rather than being knocked back while out on the town. This is a tasty, refreshing, bold ale and I can recommend it to anyone who likes this style of beer.

8/10

Old Fart

I love a beer that doesn't take itself too seriously. There's a lot of chest puffing amongst beer brewers at times, so sometimes it's good to have a laugh. This is a British beer doesn't wear any specific moniker like a 'Pale Ale' or 'Red Ale' or something of the like. It's just a beer. Named 'Old Fart'.

The ale pours a fairly transparent brown/red colour with not a lick of a head. This seems to be common in English Ales, which at times can seem 'flat'. Perhaps this is due to the Pom's penchant for drinking beers at room temperature rather than cold out of the fridge. I imagine this beer is somewhat like it would tasted if you licked a malt shovel. English malts dominate, with a slightly fruity tone and a lightly bittered finish. Malt and hops. Simple, but effective.

The feel of the beer is light though, and feels a bit flimsy. It tastes good, and is easy to drink... but there is no hair on it's cajones. It's too polite. They haven't really bent any bones in the flavour department, so it would've helped to beef up the overall tone of the beer. An acceptable beer, but perhaps a bit unoriginal.

6.5/10

Cavalier Pale

What a UFC! After a big day of drinking and watching some classic fights, I nestled into a kebab for dinner and tucked into this bad boy. I'd never seen this beer before when I picked it up from the Prahran Market. You really do feel for some of these micros that have the same level of distribution as 'Hooters and Hijabs' magazine, while some straight out bullshit beers litter the city from asshole to breakfast.

The Cav pours a dark gold/amber with a decent head. The taste caught me off guard, this beer is bigger than it looks. Huge tropical flavours like paw paw and mango sit up front, backed up by piney hops and a bitter finish. The carbonation is bold and sharp but fades quickly. It's like an Angry Man or Pacific Ale mixed with a strong American Pale Ale. It's a great combination and thoroughly enjoyable.

The amalgamation of tropical fruits and slabs of hops give the beer distinct diversity. This would work in both hot and cold weather, indoors or out. Cavalier Pale Ale deserves a lot more notoriety. I've never heard of it, I've never heard anyone else mention it. This Brunswick based brewer is on to a winner with this one. If you see it out and about some time grab a couple.



8/10

St Ambroise Pale Ale

Today I'm feeling very sleep deprived and hung over after a big night out, but like they say there is nothing like the hair of the dog. On the menu is a Pale Ale from St Ambroise. This is actually a Canadian brewery, a fact I hadn't noticed when I tried their oatmeal stout. I've only really had beers from the mainstream Canuck brewhouses, I was really impressed with the Yank micros so it would be great to try some Canadians. I really don't know how big this Quebec-based maker is, but I don't remember seeing it when I lived in Canada. The Pale pours an amber/copper colour without a significant head. The flavours are fairly simple, but very effective.

Crisp malt and hops dominate, and the beer boasts a slightly oily but very pleasant feel. At first the most I really thought was 'not bad', but with each sip I grew more and more impressed. Sometimes like a new album from your favourite band, it takes some time to connect like you have in the past. Nuts and grains start to eminate, and the overall flavour starts to really take shape. It's a malt and hop driven beer, with a good supporting cast, and that's generally a good recipe.

It's a moderate Pale Ale, not too light but not too heavy. Considering I was a bit fragile, this beer was extremely easy to drink. Like a sex offender's front door, there aren't a lot of knocks on it. It achieves everything it sets out to achieve, without swinging for the fence and striking out in the process.

7.5/10

St Feuillien Brune

St Unpronouncable gave us a very beefed up Blonde beer that I enjoyed thoroughly a couple of weeks back, up here we have their 'Brune'. Not really sure what 'Brune' means, I'm going to guess 'Brown'? Perhaps it's a Brown Ale? It's an 8.5% beer, like much of the Belgian brewing brotherhood. That's all I can tell you because there isn't a scrap of English on the bottle. Interestingly 'Vitamin C' is one of the ingredients listed, so it's safe to assume that this is a healthy beverage and perhaps one to drink if you feel a cold coming on. I have read that naturopaths have even suggested it be used for colonic treatment.

The beer does pour a deep cloudy brown with a whopping head, that subsequently almost ended up on the floor. The first thing I noticed was the punch of alcohol, which was far more noticeable than in the blonde. It does require a bit of focus and patience. On about the third sip some of the dominant flavours started filtering through. It tastes a little bit like biscuits and caramel with some feint berry like flavours. Something dark, perhaps blackberry. The finish is dry and bitter and this is really where the hops pop up and say hello.

It's a decent beer, I don't think I enjoyed it as much as the Blonde though. The flavours are probably deeper, but it's nowhere near as refreshing and doesn't hide the burn as well. You can't question the craftsmanship, it's a masterfully brewed beer, simply put at the end of the day it just didn't push all of the right buttons. If you're a Belgian beer head then it's worth a try, if not then don't last any sleep.

7/10

Wicked Elf Pale Ale

This beer has a fitting title, as I am currently deep in a Skyrim hole. Anyone else out there whose played it will know what I mean. Wicked Elf is produced by 'The Little Brewing Company', who are based in Port Macquarie. The label describes the beer as brewed in an American style using Australian and English Barley, and American hops.

The beer pours an impressive light amber/copper colour, but does look flatter than a tack, on Alicia Silverstone's surfboard. There is about as much head as the famous horseman. The flavours are quite interesting, and you can give them some originality points here. There are some caramel/nutty qualities like an American Pale Ale or Amber right at the forefront. The midpoint an aftertaste however, are as bitter as the atmosphere in the Jolie household after a rejection on an adoption application.

It's an interesting beer, that has to be said. The feel of the beer is moderate, but solid. and the flavours are substantial. Somehow though, it all feels a bit underwhelming. It may well be due to the carbonation. More often it's over carbonation that unbalances a beer but in this instance it's the lack thereof. This is always tough because I've had many a better Pale Ale, but at least the Wicked Elf runs it's own race. Solid effort, there could be some improvement to be had out of this base though.

6.5/10

Water, Malt, Hops, Yeast

I believe this is Swords Select's own brew, they have that little beer and wine stand at the Prahran Market. Rather than come up with some sort of shrewd marketing garb or a unique angle, they've simply named the beer after it's ingredients. Or have they? Given the boutique beer boom in the country, and Melbourne in particular, the desire for 'homemade', 'organic', and 'natural' beers has never been higher in the post-industrial era. Rather than rabbit on about how bare bones their beer is in a blurb on the bottle, they've hit that nail on the end in the title of the beer itself. Well Played.

The beer looks fantastic in the glass. It pours a deep, thick, and murky orange and yellow haze. This beer is not just cloudy, if you flew a plane through it you'd end up with half of cattle class on the ceiling. This follows through on to the feel of the beer to an extent. It's still light, but you can just feel... stuff in there. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but there's depth to the beer that you can feel. The flavours of the beer are as titled. Malt and hops dominate the scene, with sharp witbier like carbonation.

It's in interesting marriage. The flavours and murky body are counterweighted by the light feel and sharp carbonation. It's not overly smooth, yet is still well balanced. I really did enjoy this beer. It's pretty basic, but I appreciate that. You would probably have to find a Swords Select to try this, but if you do, I can vouch it's worth trying.

7/10

Brooklyn Brown Ale

I've had two beers from these blokes to date, and I have to say that they have both been sturdy and reliable. Like a modern day Volvo. I say modern day, because there's a little bit of punch in there. Their Lager was unique and their IPA swung for the rafters. This was the last beer in my fridge before I had to re-stock the shelves, and by chance today while Christmas shopping I bought a chocolate crepe. This contained enough chocolate to last me a month, and now I have to drink a Brown Ale. I'll try my best to not let this damage the experience.

Boom! Chocolate. The beer pours a chocolatey brown and has a familiar mocha aroma. The flavours are, as you would expect, chocolate and coffee with some malt and nuts. It's fairly stock standard for a brown ale, and perhaps a smidgen less creative than their other beers. BB's beers tend to be a bit light on the body, which was fine for the lager and mildly disappointing for the IPA but it's a blessing for the Brown Ale. The deep, rich flavours need to be balanced out and this comes in the form of a refreshing body.

I have to admit this was deeper than I expected. It's almost like watching Katy Perry discuss string theory. This is probably the most complex of Brooklyn's beers. The IPA was aggressively hopped but there wasn't a hell of a lot else going on. For someone who doesn't really eat a lot of chocolate, I now need to go and have a lie down...

6.5/10

Blanche De Namur

Wheat beers have never really been high on my list, and while I've had some decent ones during this challenge none of them have really grabbed me by the jugular. Still...I strangely find myself hankering for one all of a sudden. After countless Trappist ales and complex IPAs and dark ales, sometimes you just want something simple and refreshing. Enter the witbier.

This is another Belgian offering, and from memory it was fairly cheap given that it's a Belgian import. Maybe 4 bucks something? The beer pours a very impressive hazy pale straw colour, and looks 'fuller' than some other witbiers I've had.

All the normal flavours are there, there is nothing new or different to be had. Zesty citrus, spices, coriander, and the vessel they are carred in is perfect. The body is weighty but still light enough, and the sting of carbonation is short and sharp. This is like a witbier in HD. There is perfect clarity.

On a scorching summer's day thirsty mouths will become an endangered species. This is a perky, refreshing witbier that is impossible to hate. It might not sweep you off your feet, but it'll provide a damn fine quickie... and sometimes that's all you need. Who would've thought something that sounds like a regal French grandmother would taste so spritely?

7.5/10

Le Trappe Quadrupel

The medieval armies had their catapults, the world war troops had their artillery and modern generals have their carpet bombs. There always comes a time when you have to pull out the big guns. When only a rocket propelled grenade will do... there is no room for pea shooters and fisticuffs. This is a 10% AHV Belgian Trappist Ale. This is Chuck Norris wearing a loin cloth.

The Quad pours a thick, murky amber brown with effervescent bubbles streaming to the surface leaving it appearing almost like a Hindu Guinness. From the moment you sip it, your entire mouth is warmed with a fire of alcohol that is quickly muffled by blanket of flavour. The balance is critically sound. The flavours are familiar, dominated by sweet and spicy fruit and nuts. This beer is not about specific nuances, it's all centered around the fragile tightrope walk that the brewers have to tread. Producing a smooth drinking beer with 1/10th of it being pure alcohol is as daunting a proposition as your first battle against Dr. Wily while playing Megaman as a kid.

Really it's just showing off. It's like the double back flip. Remember when people started doing back flips on all sorts of random shit and the world went crazy? Then some dude did a double back flip. It's almost rude to the rest of us insignificant peasants to go around double back flipping various modes of transportation. By no means a casual beer to drink on the balcony, but if you've got enough hair on your chest to give it a go you will most likely be pleasantly surprised.

8/10

Bridge Road Brewers Celtic Red Ale

Haven't had a Bridge Road beer in a while, too long it seems. I've always liked their range but for some reason tend to overlook them when scanning for a sixer. Their selection of beers do come with a hefty price tag. Still, you do get what you pay for in the end. Once this journey is over, I'll make it a priority to make them a regular in the fridge.

Their Red Ale pours the colour of burnt toffee. The dominating flavour is definately malt, thickened by caramel and toffee and a nutty finish. It really is a brilliant combination of flavours and from the word go this was one of the best Red Ales I'd sampled. While the beer is relatively transparent in appearance it has this creamy texture to it, in the same way that a good Irish whiskey does. There would be nary a Paddy in Dublin that wouldn't approve. Sturdy, without being heavy, and delicately flavoured without being soft. Very well balanced.

I can safely say that Larry Bird himself would approve of this Celtic Red Ale. It feels like the beer equivalent of a glass of Jameson. While not being anything outrageous or extraordinary, it's a superbly smooth customer who ticks all the necessary boxes.

8/10

St Ambroise Oatmeal Stout

An oatmeal stout is a beer I know very little about. Stouts and Porters are somewhat new to me still, so the only assumption I've made is that it is a stout... made with oatmeal. Cole Phelps up in here. Dark beers aren't really my bag, I'm warming up to them slowly but often the prevalent coffee element loses me.

This beer pours a deathly jet black and leaves the bottle looking like BP's contribution to marine environment. This is going to be some heavy shit. This is a powerful beer. It tastes like someone filled a vat with blocks of chocolate, oatmeal, malt and coffee beans and took a flamethrower to it. Dark, roasted flavours across the board. The taste is huge, and even a small sip gives you a world to dissect.

I can see the appeal, I really can, but I'm just not there yet. Drinking one of these is like sitting down to a meal, I feel like I've just had a roast dinner. I doubt I will ever reach for one of these beers over a really good pale ale but they are an interesting experience nonetheless.

6.5/10

Brooklyn East India Pale Ale

I am definitely an East Coast kinda guy. Wu Tang, Big L, Gang Starr... it's a no contest. When it comes to American beers however, I have to pledge my allegiance to the sunny coast. California especially boasts some hugely impressive breweries. Brooklyn Brewery's lager was a solid beer, but to really test whether a brewery can reach such wuthering heaights you need to try an ale. An IPA is even better.

This IPA is rather transparent, lacking the enticing cloudyness of a good India Pale Ale. The colour is an orange/brown blend, with little head. The feel of the beer is quite mild, not watery as such but far from heavy. Flavourwise it is very straightforward, and as uncomplex as it's appearance. Caramel malts, and an explosion of hops.

Everything is there, but in a slightly unrefined manner. The heavy reliance on hops for flavouring, provide an enticing initial hit but then leave your mouth drier than a dead dingo's donga. The balance wavers at this point, and the beer ends up as lopsided as Tori Spelling's baps.

All in all though, it's a good beer. It's a raw and gritty version of an IPA and won't ever be a favourite, but it's enjoyable nonetheless.

7.5/10

Silly Saison

Just as I had finished blowing smoke up Belgium's ass for their string of diverse and delicious ales, I reached for this less than inspiring beverage. Silly Saison is a Belgian brew, but with a standard AHV as opposed to many of it's peers. This one is a brown ale.

Silly Saison pours a slightly murky amber colour, with a strangely patchy head. This is the first beer I've encountered that suffers from Alopecia. The feel of the beer is pretty light, and surprisingly watery. The taste is almost indecipherable. It's syrupy sweet, with malts and some strange fruit flavours. It almost tastes like something out of a soda fountain.

I can't describe it exactly, but midway through a strange potent taste emerges and dominates throughout the aftertaste. It is the definition of 'leave a bad taste in your mouth'. It's kind of like ultra sweet raisins juice. Yeah. It tastes more like medicine than beer. Not impressed.

3/10

St. Feuillien Blonde

Good luck pronouncing the name of this one. I'm not sure if I've seen so many vowels in the one place. I really need to go to Belgium at some point. Belgian/Trappist beers aren't actually my no.1 preference, but the sheer breadth of versatile beers they produce is absolutely mind boggling. They are one of the very few countries that mass produce quality beers on a wide scale.

Almost each and every one of these beers is a piece of art. This is a 7.5% Golden Ale, and I've drunk light beers that are harsher. While the beer pours an unassuming transparent fizzy yellow, the taste is something to behold. The feel is weighted but still smooth, almost in a 70's Elvis-like fashion. The concoction tastes of spiced citric fruits, infused with stinging carbonation and a bitter finish.

Definite summer beer, extremely easy to drink but still packing as significant a kick as Roberto Baggio's penalty shot. With a six pack of these out in the son you would be three sheets to the wind in no time. Not as good as the Tripel Karmeleit, but probably just agonisingly close to the Duvel. That is the most respectable last place I can imagine.

7.5

Murray's Icon 2IPA

Murray's have some creatively titled beers, but their 2IPA bears the boring moniker of 'Icon'. Luckily, they have made up for this by displaying two kangaroos vigorously rooting on the label. Big IPA's have grown on me the most since undertaking this noble quest, and I have a soft spot for Murray's beers so I was eagerly filled with anticipation to sample this ale.

The pour does look very unique, it's somewhat of a peach colour and extremely dense and murky. A generous frothy head floats above, making it look somewhat like a glass of swamp mud with toxic foam emanating from the surface. This is strangely appealing in a way, as this is not a Czech Pilsner, it's a 2IPA. Rarely are they for the feint of heart.

If you loaded buckets of hops and caramel into a bazooka, and then aimed it directly at your face, then it might come close to the sensation you get when drinking this beer. Bitter pine hops spear their way through a creamy caramel topping, all encased in a full body. Don't get it twisted, this is not for everyone. If your palette can handle the onslaught, and your brain can compute what the hell is going on, then this is a great 2IPA.

Definitely rate it. Very good beer. Murray's have a staggering range of beers, all with essentially unique attributes. I salute you Muzza.

8.5/10

Samuel Adams Oktoberfest

Given the general gist of German Beers, and what you normally get with something named 'Oktoberfest', I was surprised to see a murky amber/brown ale pour out of the bottle. The only thing I can think of, is that while it's sunny over in Germany it's cold and windy in the US? So this may be the type of beer the yanks are after when it's 'their' Oktoberfest.

Nevertheless, Sam Adam's Oktoberfest is a deep malted ale with flavours richer than a piece of chocolate mud cake, sitting upon a solid gold plate, resting on Warren Buffet's dining table. Never fear, it's very clean and drinkable despite this and still remains a sessionable beer. Rather than being drunk by a rabble outdoors, it's probably better suited to a leather recliner and some good conversation.

It's all starting to make sense in the end. The Americans do love to claim everything as their own, and in this instance I'll waive them through the gate because this is a decent beer. At the end of the day there are more yellow/golden beers on the market than brown, so this was a surprise that was welcome in this instance.

7/10

Kirin Ichiban

I am unsure as to what the difference between a Kirin and a Kirin Ichiban is, but this one comes in a stomping big bottle with a half dragon half horse looking beast proudly brandishing a giant flowing beard. It could very well be an album cover of a Japanese death metal band.

It seems to resemble a normal Kirin in execution to be honest. Very, clean and crisp, and highly refreshing. Predominant flavours of corn and rice and a slightly hopped finish. Beer geeks might shirk at it because it doesn't hit you like someone mashing the punch button with E.Honda, but it doesn't need to. Kirin make palette cleansing beers that are fantastic to drink with asian food of all varieties. You don't exactly want a Chocolate Porter with your Szechuan Beef or Pork Gyoza.

Mano a mano against IPAs and Trappist beers, no it isn't going to stand up. But in terms of bettering it's peers in a
niche of the mainstream market, you can't fault it. Given the evolution of my tastes throughout this challenge Kirin no longer impresses me like it used to, but it's still a very reliable beer that you can find at most bottle shops. So if you're ducking into a BYO restaurant, and they don't have that obscure brown ale you like, always keep Kirin in mind.

6.5/10

Tripel Karmeleit

I have been a bit spoiled lately, as the latest batch of beers have all been very solid for the most part. Up next is yet another piece of Belgian craftsmanship, this time an 8.4% blond ale. The best I can do is compare with the Duvel, as it's a similar type of beer.

It should be noted that the beer has been brewed with pride and patience under 'carmelite tradition'. I am not at all sure why this should be noted, but I advise that you take notes regardless. Why? Because this is an absolute CRACKER of a beer.

It pours a hazy golden yellow, and appears like it has more depth than your average blond. No pun intended. The taste is a thunder clapping tropical storm. The feel of the beer is astonishingly heavy for a blond, but enigmatically refreshing at the same time. It doesn't have that oily texture either, it remains cleaner than Mother Teresa's swipe test after she passed through a Calcutta drug bus. The carbonation is fierce, but works in well with the other bold elements of the beer.

This really takes some skill. For once an archaic year on the label (such as the '1679' on this beer) actually makes sense. Sometimes you drink a beer that claims to have been around for centuries, and it still tastes like someone has wrung out Shaq's left sock after a triple overtime victory. Not the Tripel Karmeleit. There are generations of dedication and discipline bubbling inside this glass.

Fantastic beer.

9/10

Sierra Nevada Tumbler Brown Ale

I love these guys. Their Pale Ales are criminally thirst quenching and jam packed full of well balanced hops. I spotted this Brown Ale at the shop and was well stoked to give it a crack.

Speaking of crack, these beers should be in the same narcotic class. Despite being a deeper, darker style of ale the Tumbler is still effortlessly refreshing. It pours a deep auburn brown, but still with that trademark clean appearance. Sitting upon a base of crackling toasty burnt malts are smooth sweet caramels, with a nutty/toffee finish. If you get those ingredients on point, I can't see a why you could fail.

And on point they are. There is a definite pull on the reins in terms of hops, compared to this brewery's other offerings. This is not necessarily a bad thing as the balance is there as it is. A fair cry from their base crop, the Tumbler is a triumphant addition to the roster.

I am slightly concerned that after the effects of this substance wear off, that I will end up curled up in the corner of the room shaking uncontrollably fiending for my next hit. I feel like Tyrone Biggums... staring despondently at the now empty glass before me. Once this challenge is over and I can resume the life of a normal drinker, I will definitely grab a few sixers of SN from time to time.


8/10

Konig Ludwig Weissbier

You have a task set out before you Mr. Ludwig. Wheat beers are a bit of a 'meh' beer with me, as there really is little deviation between them. They probably have smallest breadth of variance amongst all beer genres, and after a while the anticipation becomes less and less exciting.

The label has a very regal golden crest on it, and the title of the beer is 'Royal Bavarian Hefeweizen'. You can almost feel the bottle looking down on you with an upturned nose, not at all amused by your peasantry. It pours a cloudy light mandarin orange colour, and looks mightily impressive for a wheat beer. The darker hue is visually superior compared to the often banana yellow that you often get with these beers.

And the taste... easy like Sunday morning. There's a smooth as polished marble feel to the beer, with a mixture of sweet candied toffee, malt and fruits. This is without a doubt one of my favourite wheat beers. A key factor is that the banana is restrained in the back seat. Maybe even the boot. On a warm summer's day, a chilled pot of Konig Ludwig's Weissbier will last about as long as a NOFX song on fast forward.

Great wheat beer, still simple as always, but very effective.

8/10

Leffe Radieuse

As I get closer to the end of this challenge, I'm going to have to dip in to some more expensive beers as they are becoming increasingly harder to find. The upside to this is that a lot of these wallet lighteners will end up being Belgian/Trappist ales such as this 'Redieuse' from Leffe. I'm not gonna lie though, I have no idea what Radieuse means.

The beer pours an amazing deep brown/plum like colour with a huge foaming head that climbs vertically out of the liquid, bursting to the surface. It is really a sight to behold. There is a distinct whiff of alcohol as I neared the glass to my nose, indicating the 8.2% volume may not be so well hidden. The Belgians are normally masters of deception, so this was somewhat of a surprise.

The first taste I notice is sweet malts, followed by a tart fruityness that I can only compare to plums or figs. Some sort of dark fruit anyway. There is a thin layer of toffee in there as well, before a very clean finish. There is barely even a hint of alcohol, almost as if it was absorbed into the vacuum of my nose before the liquid reached my mouth. The gaping divide between the nose and the taste is about as wide as Derek Kickett.

It is an amazingly well brewed beer. There are some rich flavours in here that all just sit subtly next to each other without competing. Imagine trying to keep the peace outside the interview room for the next season of MTV's 16 and Pregnant. That's a tall order. Great beer, similar quality to the Duvel, but I like this just a little bit more.

8.5/10

Duvel

This beast is an 8.5% Belgian Golden Ale. Can a Golden Ale, normally a pillar of all that is crisp and refreshing, still cleanse the palette and quench the thirst while bearing such a high AHV?

The answer is yes. The Belgians have the beer game on lock.

Duvel pours a transparent but vibrant straw coloured yellow, with a full frothy head. Clean pale malts charge at you like a raging bull, before a sea of citric fruits cascade over the top. The alcohol is surpressed right up until the aftertaste, where it firmly dominates with a warm buzz.

Everything here is quite basic, the ingredients aren't complex, but everything feels like it has been examined under a magnifying glass. The overall feel still really qualifies as light, but everything has punch. With knuckledusters. For an 8.5% Golden Ale, knocking one down is far from a 7/10 split.

Nowhere near as creative or outrageous as many others, but it's a very clean cut beer that will quickly have you blurring at the edges if you've got a handful to drink.

8/10

Kosciusko Pale Ale

'Kosi', as it is affectionately known, is Australia's highest peak. While we aren't exactly famous for our mountains, given that the entire country is pretty much as flat as a Women's 200m freestyle gold medalist, it's still a bold claim to attach the moniker to anything. I reckon if you handed a Sherpa a stubby of 'Everest Ale' he'd be expecting some next level shit.

The beer pours a very pale yellow, with a hint of murkiness to it. The head looks pretty fluffy nonetheless. The taste... well it really is a touch boring. Mainly it tastes like grains and apples. It's more like a high fibre breakfast cereal than a beer. The aftertaste is only mildly bitter, and it's almost stepping slightly into cider territory. The one holding point to the beer is the body, which has a creamyness to it that is reinforced by the pronounced head that the beer carries.

It is grudgingly refreshing, but the flavours are a strange beast. There's not a lot there, and what you do get tends to leave you confused. This is a country mile behind the better Pale Ales that this country produces, so I really can't recommend it.

5.5/10

Schnitzer Brau German Hirse Premium

*Facepalm*

I really need to start checking labels more closely when I go to stock up on a trunk full of single beers. This is an 'Organic and GLUTEN FREE' beer. Gluten free beer is like an explosion free Michael Bay flick, or a cocaine free Charlie Sheen. Where is the fun in any of these situations? Nowhere, that's where.

This is a really shit beer. I'm not going to dance around the issue, it's terrible. It pours a thin, watery, 'almost-yellow' colour. The flavour... it feels wrong even calling it that. It's kind of grainy, with a squeeze of lemon in it. I don't even want this anymore. I feel like I'm watching an old friend get tortured. It's like George Lucas decided to make a 'director's cut edition' of beer.

I know this gluten free thing is huge these days, and people who can't ingest gluten would like to be able to drink a beer. The fact of the matter is, THIS IS NOT BEER. Wheat, grains and barley (which are all sources of gluten) are KEY ingredients to a beer. If you remove them, you basically have water... and some random other crap that they don't use to make beer. Just drink a vodka or tequila guys, honestly, if you can't have gluten then really you are shit out of luck if you want to drink a beer. The shit is basically gluten water.

1/10

Stoke Dark

Alright Paleo Water. I don't like you, you don't like me, but let's just get this over with. This is the last of Stoke's underwhelming series of beers that I have trudged through on this leg of the journey. These beers have been brewed with the sturdy precision of Michael J Fox armed with a Gatling Nerf gun. Dark beers can be hard to master, so I'm concerned as to how the shotgun approach will fare under these conditions.

This ale looks like dark cola syrup, and could easily be mistaken for a stray glass of Pepsi sitting on the table. Before my mouth even reached the glass I was socked in the nose by something reminiscent of an overhand right from Chuck Liddell. Chocolate and coffee aromas spewed forth from the glass, encapsulating my skull in a swirling mist of mocha. The flavour... is surprisingly focused compared to it's siblings. It's basically chocolate, malts and coffee. The beer is balanced enough though. While still feeling slightly 'cheap', there is some harmony to be had here. The aftertaste is draped in bitterness, but more of a sweet bitterness than dry.

This is not a bad Dark Ale. I have a bit of an aversion to coffee, so these 'mocha' beers will almost always miss the mark with me. It's a bit watery and tacky, but as a Dark Ale for the mass market it is an acceptable beer. New to the scene? Not a bad place to start. Had a fair few Dark Ales? Been there, done that.

5.5/10

Matilda Bay Bohemian Pilsner

In a sense Matilda Bay gets some both unfair hate and praise all at the same time. They make some very good craft style beers, but there are many brewers who outdo them to significantly less fanfare. And distribution. This is one of, it not the only, beer in their lineup I haven't actually sampled before. The label claims that MB have made a hearkened call back to the 1800's when the first Bohemian Pilsners were brewed.

I somehow doubt it. The feel is watery, which is perhaps to be expected, but it's really the flavours that go kaput. The hops are barely noticeable, it's the malts that dominate... but by saying dominate I'm more insinuating that Wee Man won a fight against Mini Me. Yes, there was a victor, but at the end of the day they are both still midgets. There's the trademark Pils carbonation sting... and that's about all folks.

It is easy to drink, and somewhat refreshing, so is fairly well suited to the Australian market due to our summer weather. If you're looking to take some of the burn out of the sun and demolish a beer, this one will do it, but you will barely notice it before it's gone. Average beer, nothing bad about it but nothing exciting either.

6/10

Grimbergen Dubbel Double

For my first beer after defeating a stomach virus, I really wanted something fleet of foot as the guts were still a bit fragile. After banishing a sink full of dishes, I turned to the fridge in eagerness to see what I could muster to quench my longing thirst for a beer. It's been almost a week, which I find personally offensive.

To my dismay...everything in there was either a dark ale or some Trappist looking rocket launcher. I was just going to have to dive in to the shallow end and hope I didn't hit my head. I know nothing at all about this beer, but a 6.8% Dubbel is probably going to be about as nimble as a Japanese Yokozuna running an agility test, wearing Dutch clogs.

Scratch that... this beer is more like a Japanese Yokozuna running through a field of berries waving a Katana. You garner a split second of sweet malts before both sweet and sour red berry flavours carve through your tastebuds. The feel of the beer is pretty watery for a Dubbel. The warm sweet finish is even remiscent of something like Sherry or Port.

This is something different for sure, and really not at all what I wanted but I won't let that get in the way. It is a well made beer(perhaps with a slightly too slender body), but it zips a few circles away from my bulls eye. Belgian beer heads and Trappist fans will get a bit of a kick out of it, if that is your thing.

7/10

Murray's Angry Man Pale Ale

Apologies for the delay, I've been out of action with a bout of gastro and had to put the beer drinking on hold. I actually drank this one the night I got sick, and never got to upload it... I'll try and catch up with a few more beers over the weekend.

With such a crowded boutique beer market emerging, having a striking name will become increasingly important to lure in curious punters. Murray's are already on top of their game in this aspect, hosting a number of eye catching titles. Here we have the 'Angry Man' Pale Ale, sporting a boxing kagaroo duking it out with...what I presume to be an angry man. Rather than stick to one pale ale, Murray's actually have a few different feathers in this cap.

Angry Man pours a hazy light Brown, and to be honest looks fairly unasuming. Still... presentation isn't everything. The immediate flavour you get is of tropical fruits, most notably passionfruit, with an overidding spicyness. There's a late burst of hops before a dry bitter finish. It's almost like an adults version of a 'Pasito', if anyone grew up with that soft drink.

It reminds me a little of Stone & Wood's Pacific Ale. Then again it has been some time since I sampled one of those. The name of the beer is proving to be puzzling, as this beer is far from angry. Rather, it is as relaxed and laid back as Arj Barker with five cones under his belt. I can picture myself laid out on a deck chair on the beach knocking this back without a care in the world. I am the unangriest man on the planet right now while drinking this beer.

8.25/10

Brew Dog Punk IPA

After the, in a sense, anti-climatic Big Dipper from Little Creatures I thought it might be fitting to try another reputable IPA to compare. Brew Dog have a go hard or go home attitude, so can this IPA out-punch a DIPA that should have naturally been in a whole other weight division?

The Punk IPA poured a lighter, cloudier orange than the Dipper and with murkier depths. Not as aesthetically pleasing, but perhaps more intriguing. Why so cloudy sunshine? And the taste...

HOPS UP IN YOUR GRILL.

They are perched front row center screaming furiously like a 12 year old Justin Bieber fan. The punch is instant, and swings with far more anger than the Big Dipper. The thing is though, it's not always about a slug fest. You need to land. The precision isn't as tight. There are some nice, almost tropical fruit flavours briefly in the intermission, before a dry bitter close of the curtains.

Great beer, easy to drink but very pronounced at the same time. At the end of the day though, with all things considered, it simply isn't a better beer. The whole IPA/DIPA thing aside, the Big Dipper does just taste that little bit better. Classifications, trends, marketing wank aside... what really matters most?

8/10

Little Creatures Single Batch 'The Big Dipper'

After a long afternoon battling the world's most infuriating computer virus, I decided that I deserved to sit down and knock off this single batch from Little Creatures. 'The Big Dipper' is a double IPA, that I understand is released in a limited batch each year. The name comes from the famous seven star constellation, and LC have incorporated seven different types of hops in tribute. It sits at 7.8%, which is a slightly tamer AHV for a double IPA if I am not mistaken.

The beer pours a vibrant orange, and looks reminiscent of the Little Creatures' brand. I was expecting to be throttled by a BP proportion oil slick of hops... but surprisingly, this DIPA is quite smooth. Maybe even too smooth. This is nowhere near as punchy as most of, if not all of the DIPA's I've had before. The flavours are fantastic though, the piney bitterness is there in spades and there's an orange peel citric effect. It is flat out delicious, but if anything it really tastes more like a slightly pumped up LC Pale Ale than a stand alone DIPA.

It's a bizarre situation really. It's almost as if a band you really liked said they were going to take a change of direction, and then after the anticipation you listened to the new album and it was simply an amplified version of their original style after all. It still hits the spot, so why be upset? Everything just as likely could have gone to shit. Little Creatures make great beers, this is another one, just don't expect something left field.


8.5/10

Coldstream's Naked Ale

Coldstream is another amongst the ever growing crowd of Victorian breweries. This ambiguously named 'Naked Ale' is in fact a Golden Ale as described by the label. I will say that the beer poured more of a copper colour than golden, visually resembling an American style Ale. The body looked reasonably heavy, before lightening up as the dust settled. For a golden ale, it looked great so far.

There are some light caramel and toffee flavours, a light sting of carbonation and a bitter hopped finish. Everything is very carefully balanced, with not a single attribute standing out. In this sense, Naked Ale is a jack of all trades but master of one. There was nothing in particular that wowed me about this beer, but everything has been done to a standard.

I'm starting to see where the title came from. It is safe to say that if you started the evening with a fridge full of these, you could easily end up naked at some point before the night's end. Quite easy to drink, balanced flavours, hopped finish. It is not a glorious triumph in the world of beer making, but a healthy addition to ranks of Melbourne micro brewers.

7/10

Stoke Gold

So here I am, venturing back to the land of Paleo Water. The term sounds like something they would sell at the Jurassic Park cafeteria, to help wash down your jam filled Diplodonuts. After the somewhat underwhelming experience of Stoke's Amber offering, I went in to this one anticipating much of the same.

The beer pours a hazy golden hue with a fluffy head. Encouraging visuals so far. While not taking the sledgehammer approach of the Amber, there is little subtelty here either. To say this beer is balanced, would be akin to calling politicians honest. From what I can make out there are some sharp malts, before a a mild floral and hopped finish. There is about as much harmony here as a Grade 4 orchestra's first attempt at playing Mozart's Requiem. Stoke's snarling attitude perhaps lands an inch closer to the bulls eye with the Gold as opposed to the Amber, as some Golden Ales can feel a little bit flimsy in their attempts to be clean, summer beers.

The body/feel of the beer is actually refreshing. It has a moderate weight, but goes down quite easily despite the off kilter flavours. It isn't a bad beer, but it still really feels like a beta version... Stoke Gold 0.65. You don't get the feeling of a complete product. Was this rushed to market? I'm not sure, but in my opinion there is still work to be done to shave off some of the edges.

6/10

Mort Subite Xtreme Framboise

Brewers really need to be careful when they start getting all Frankenstein with their beers. Often these concoctions end up being crammed full of so much fruit that they would sooner resemble a UDL. I did sample a Raspberry beer from Jamieson earlier in the challenge, and it was surprisingly tasty. The mind does bend a bit, because often when I feel like a beer I'm after a savoury drink as opposed to sweet... if that makes sense. The Jamieson was a bit of both, sweet and then savoury. Seeing as this beer dubbed itself 'Xtreme', I was expecting a larger turn out from the raspberry crowd.

The beer comes in a 250ml bottle... which is a bit disappointing already. It pours an amazing thick cloudy red colour, with a huge frothy head. You are immediately whacked in the face with a sensation that would resemble plowing head first into a raspberry bush after a failed sky diving manouvere. The glass was completely at arms length, and still the aroma was perforating into my skull.

The feel of the beer is traditionally Belgian, in that the body feels weighted, and slightly 'oily' as it moves around your mouth. I've gotten use to this by now, and to be honest I tend to like a beer with a solid feel. The flavour though... wow... there's not much else to say except that this is raspberry as fuck. There is a genuine burst of the red berry, that is very sweet, but just delicately dances along the line of almost being over the top... but not quite. There is a beer in there somewhere I'm sure, but it's very hard to find. You've heard the reports, you've seen the legends, but haven't been able to witness it in real life. Like the Loch Ness Monster, or indicators being used on BMWs.

So in summary... this is delicious, but really hard to compare to anything else as a 'beer'. I fear that if you drank 2 or 3 of these in short succession you may very well turn in to a raspberry. I think a 7 is fair, because I quite enjoyed it but it is never going to be considered amongst my favourite beers... because it hardly tastes like one.

7/10