Bootleg Beer Wils Pils

Great.

Another Pilsner.

A reluctant sigh was emitted when this was the beer on the menu tonight, as going through a challenge to drink 365 beers in a year involves the best and the worst of times. Many of the worst seem to involve a watery Pilsner.

This particular offering is from Bootleg Beer from WA. After some very unthorough research I didn't find out much info on them/it, apart from a claim this lager is brewed with rain water.

While not being as exciting as a blindfolded cage fight between Chuck Norris and a Kodiak bear, it is a surprisingly tasty beer. It's still a Pilsner, so the volume is turned down, but the floral tones and slightly malty body are mated with a clean but sturdy feel.

I suppose sometimes, you might argue that a barely audible volume is still better than that fuckhead on the train playing Euro trance loud enough to wake Helen Keller.

One of the better Pilsners I've drunk, extremely easy to down and a good example of the genre.

7.5/10

BBC Bighead

I'm having one of those 'what is wrong with the world?' moments. This beer proclaims to be 'Australia's first NO CARB beer'.

Moderation is the key people. MODERATION.

There should be no need for such madness!

It reminds me of those people that drink three coke zeros a day because they are 'no sugar' or 'no calories' rather than just controlling themselves and cracking the odd real coke every now and then. A slab full of masking chemicals are somehow more appealing.

At the end of the day the point is that drinking soft drink, of any sort, is as likely to help you lose weight as entering a donut eating contest to the death against Queen Latifah and Dog the Bounty Hunter's missus.

Apply the same logic to beer. If you are watching your weight, don't drink so much beer that you would make David Boon jealous.

Don't overdo it, go to the gym once in a while, and you can enjoy food and drink in it's true form and the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

Anyway, rant over, let's get to the beer...

This beer is about as exciting as a cardboard box convention in the middle of a dry zone in Canberra. There is no flavour, no body, no aftertaste. Credit where credit is due, I suppose creating a no carb beer is some sort of achievement in it's own right, but I might as well be drinking alcoholic mineral water.

2/10

J.W Dundee's Honey Brown

Another honey beer.

Beer.

Honey.

I like them both, but together rarely do they combine in a way that makes me think beer is worse off without the honey. Still don't really get the point.

While the honey beer does appeal somewhat to the female market, this would have to be the man version. It's not a girl with a sweet tooth beer, but more a Bear Grylls eating a live bee for protein beer.

It's a malty, bitter lager with a streak of sweet honey sitting in the background. It's quite refreshing, but very raw flavour wise. It's a bit like a slightly sweet above average mainstream lager. This beer is from New York, so I don't know how well known the brewery is, but it's weak compared to most craft beers I've been stung by.

4.5/10

St Kilda Brew

This is brewed by 'Some Saint Kilda guys' according to the bottle. The bottle bears the palm trees of the St Kilda shoreline, along with a mosaic of Luna Park, graff and street art.

This is a beer brewed with a purpose, and going at somewhat of a niche market. It declares itself to be a 'voluptuous full bodied and full strength blonde', perfect for a St Kilda session. I have to take this into account when drinking it, as it isn't the world's most exciting beer but I have to agree that it would be a great session beer down on the beach.

I'm not sure about full strength, but for a clean lager it does have more junk in the trunk than your normal skimpy, anorexic blonde beer. The curves might not drop the jaw to the floor but there's enough to warrant a sneaky glance.

It was priced fairly well, and hits it's target with relative accuracy. It isn't aiming to be a complicated craft beer, or a game changer, it's just a sessionable lager.

So if you're trying to expand your palette, don't bother, but if you're just cracking a few cold ones in the sun it will more than do the job.

6/10

Kooinda Black IPA

Kooinda's beers to this point have sat on a knife's edge. Very good, but still only on the verge of excellence.

Given I'd had a pretty good run with IPA's lately, it would take a doozy of a beer to rate amongst the others.

The Kooinda Black IPA is popping with malt and berry like flavours before a slab of hop driven bitterness is laid down, locking your tongue in a peruvian necktie. The carbonation is extremely soft, almost non existant, allowing for the flavours to really take to the stage from start to finish.

Definately not a session beer, but on it's own very solid.

I wasn't able to write this review while drinking it, so it's slightly less in depth than some of the others.


8/10

Tui East India Pale Ale

This kiwi beer is an 'East' India Pale Ale... I am unaware as to how this will differ from a traditional IPA, but in time we will find out.

Straight away I noticed it is 4% alcohol, which is VERY soft for something touting to be an Indian Pale Ale, regardless of repping the Eastside or Westside.

After taking a few swigs, it comes off as more of an amber ale than an IPA. There are some toffee/malt tones before a fizzy lagery aftertaste takes over. What the?

This doesn't taste anything like any IPA I've ever had before. Light feel, fizzy, no length in the aftertaste... maybe they are referring to different indians? Is this a pale ale that you would normally find in the mug of Chief Running Buffalo instead of Sanjiv? Is it drunk after a hard day of scalping or yoga?

It's probably a touch better than a run of the mill macro lager... but this does not resemble an IPA at all.

4/10

Pacifico Clara

Mexicans make some of most awesome food in the world, that of which is especially enjoyable after a few drinks. They are also the providers of Tequila, one of the great spirits of the world. Most likely also one of the main reasons Mexico has an extremely high birth rate.

Why oh why can't they brew a good beer then? I'm yet to taste one anyway. I'm sure I'm likely not looking in the right places but if there is a ripsnorting Mexican beer out there, of el grande burrito levels of dopeness, someone tell me!

This is watery, almost flavourless, with stinging carbonation. Very similar to your standard Mexican lager, slightly more hoppy, but still faintly flavoured.

Still, different mindstates, environments, and foods can alter the experience of drinking a beer.

If I was sitting on a beach in Mexico, under the sun, munching on a quesadilla, this would probably be hitting the spot right now.

As I am on a couch in Melbourne however, it isn't.

3.5/10

Avery Brewing Co IPA

The IPA is definately a style of beer that has really grown on me throughout this challenge. They are often a fairly intense affair and I guess it took some time to really acclimatise to what they bring to the table.

It's probably a good thing then, that I downed this beer a bit later into the challenge as on a good day it could very well out punch Brock Lesnar's fist.

The base flavours are floral and citrusy with intermittent malt sweeps... and then comes a loooooong dry, bitter finish.

It's big. Possibly a touch over the line even, but not enough to really be detrimental. It's quite an anomaly, the drink is immensely refreshing until the bitterness bulldozer steams through leaving a trail of wreckage in your mouth.

It's 6.5% which is I guess mid strength for an IPA. That being it doesn't have to hide it's alcohol conent like the 8% do.

Still, it's a very good IPA.

8/10

Kooinda Valhalla Golden Ale

VALHALLA!

Valhalla was the 'heaven' of the Viking. It was said that upon entering Valhalla, each viking received a horn full of golden ale.

Word.

Vikings are pretty cool. Right up there with dragons and ninjas.

Whenever someone tries to rag on my fire chin beard, I remind them that they better watch themselves unless they want any raping and/or pillaging going on in their village. This usually ends said ragging.

So, the question remains is this ale worthy enough to fly the flag for Valhalla?

Probably not.

It's sweet and malty, with a lemony citrus to it. The flavours gel well enough, but it is VERY light. I just can't imagine Ragnar knocking back one of these with Gunnveld and Solvig after a long day of abducting peasants.

It's a summer beer, for sure, and very easy to drink. On a 30+ degree day you could absolutely make mince meat of one of these beers.

I need some more meat on the bones personally, this beer is a bit anemic. It's a good beer though, don't let me put you off. If you like a golden ale, or light, clean summer beers you will destroy one of these.

7/10

Cascade First Harvest 2011

For the last 10 years, Cascade has released a limited batch of these beers, brewed with the first harvest of Tasmanian hops. I've never really had one before, but apparently they can end up quite different from one year to the next as the brewers tinker with the recipe.

I have to say, for a mainstream brewery, it's impressive. It's an interesting journey though, at first you get a whirlwind of hops that punches a surprised look on your face... before the corporate execs suddenly throw a glass of cold water in your gob and wash it away.

What I'm trying to say here, is that you can feel what the brewer was TRYING to achieve, to the point just before the suits got their hands on it and demanded that 'clean' mainstream flavour as they don't have a business model for a cloudy, creative hop driven beer.

It's a shame. It's starts well, but then becomes watery and lacks an aftertaste. I'm actually quite confused as to how such a hop driven beer can lack a bitter bite in it's tail. I probably don't even want to know what they added to supress it to be honest.

One of the better mainstream beers on the market, for sure, but a shadow of what it could have been.

6.5/10

Holgate Hopinator IPA

This summer...

just when thirst thought it was safe to leave mouths' dry and parched...

an unsuspecting hero would emerge from the shadows...

born in the Macedon Ranges...

humanity's last hope...

THE HOPINATOR

The masters' at Holgate Brewhouse have constructed a heavy hitting monster, armed with double barrels chock full of hops. If you like lagers, chances are after 2 or 3 sips your face will have melted into a sticky pool. If you like punchy ales, then you will need to be careful not to overextend yourself funneling this beer down your throat.

The carbonation is soft, the malt subtle, all just a red carpet delicately rolled out to a stage ready and lit for the hopfest. Be warned, as it's a Double IPA the bitter aftertaste is almost at Warhead proportions. But the smooth, flavourful body that sits heavy on the palette is more than worth it.

Brilliant IPA. Perhaps just behind the Sierra Nevada IPA, but close enough to be stepping on it's coat tails.

8.75/10

Sierra Nevada Kellerweis

If I was stranded in the desert, there isn't much I would rather stumble upon than a Sierra Nevada beer. They are relentless destructors of thirstiness. So clean and refreshing, yet exploding with flavour. Quite often with beer you get one or the other. Often the 'clean' and 'crisp' beers are flavourless pilsners, and the flavour monsters are heavy and bitter.

These beers are harmoniously balanced. The flavours are big, the hops are bitter, the feel is solid and refreshing. I can't say a bad word. Sierra Nevada are world class.

I'm not that big on wheat beers. They are all a bit samey samey and there's only so far that they can take me. This is a very solid one nonetheless. I am more impressed right now by this breweries' overall stable than just this one beer.

If you like wheat beers, you'll enjoy this offering. Otherwise, make sure you try some of their other beers before you leave this planet.

7.5/10

Chimay White

Chimay White

Fittingly named the 'Tripel', this is the third Chimay I've drunk on this challenge and possibly the pick of the bunch. It's a 8% alcohol Belgian Ale and boy was I excited to get into it.

Always best drunk in a glass, the tripel pours out a rich golden colour, almost orange in appearance. A huge bubbling head steams out of the liquid before dissolving, leaving a trail of spiderweb like lacing along the side of the glass. Even the show it puts on before you drink it is impressive.

The Tripel is surprisingly sweet, the other Chimay's are also but this seem to take the cake. It's almost candy sweet, with a cola like tone before a slight alcoholic burn rides atop a wave of heavy hop bitterness.

Wow.

The feel of the beer is slick, and heavy, almost oily but not in a bad way.

Very impressive, a completely different level to the vast majority of beers you come across worldwide. All the Chimay's are great in their own right, this may very well be the best one.

9/10

Wychwood Brewery Hobgoblin Ruby Beer

The fantasy world focused Wychwood Brewery brings us this 'ruby beer' called Hobgoblin. I'm not entirely sure what a 'ruby beer' is, maybe a red ale? The label carries a rather mischievious looking character holding an axe on it. The axe carries 5 damage points. I'm kinda guessing these guys are aiming at the nerd market with the way they label their product, but hey at least it's original.

The beer itself is very dark in colour, a deep ruby red and does actually look quite impressive. Maybe it's an amber ale? I'm guessing so as there are tones of chocolate and toffe through the beer, but the feel to it is much lighter than a normal amber ale. I found this with their blonde beer, they are clean but are very thin on texture.

It's a little bit disappointing because the chocolate/toffee/malt flavours aren't half bad, but they don't have a lot of length and by the end you just get a slab of bitterness.

All in all, a cheap beer trying to pull of just a bit too much.

5/10

Mildura Brewery Storm Cloudy Ale

A cloudy ale. Beers that dreams are made of. A nice full bodied ale is pretty much my chosen style of beer. So it's suffice to say that something tantalisingly titled 'Storm Cloudy Ale' was of much interest.

Mildura Brewery has had some hits and misses but all in all they are a pretty solid brewery. Their amber was pretty good, so surely the pale had to have some poke.

This might sound strange, but this beer is boringly good. It looks nice, with it's cloudy golden hue. The flavours are well balanced, but there just isn't enough BANG. Everything is very subdued. It's the mild mannered gentlemen of beers.

It's kind of like Coldplay. Yes you can acknowledge they are a talented outfit, but when it really comes down to it they are as boring as batshit. It's background music that you could easily fall asleep to. This is sort of the beer equivalent. It isn't bad at all, it's definitely above average. But it doesn't push any boundaries, it doesn't leave it's comfort zone and for a craft beer it's about as liberal as a one eyed, shotgun owning, McCain voting Texan.

There is no hate here. It's a good drop, just a bit conservative that's all.

7/10

Pure Blonde White

I figured I might aswell have this one after the Hahn as they are direct competitors in the market. It is also a 'low carb' wheat beer offering from heavyweight brewer Fosters.

When you line up the Hahn and the PB... it's an illusion of choice. Much like the major political parties... and as Matt Stone and Trey Parker famously put it, "It's a choice between a douche and a turd sandwich".

This is a slightly hoppier wheat beer than the Hahn, and the 'wheat beer' qualities seem a touch more authentic. BUT. The overall feel and carbonation is very cheap and really diminishes the overall package.

It could have been victorious, the flavours are better than I expected but the overall quality of the product is terrible. Overall, I'd rather the Hahn. Just.

3/10

Hahn White

This beer suggests I drink it with a slice of orange.

No.

I know this is a wheat beer kind of thing...but really...a slice of orange? In a beer? If I am missing out on something amazing here somebody tell me but otherwise I'm just gonna crack the top and drink it like a man.

It's quite clear that the marketing department has been all up in this one, as it is a 'low carb beer'. But hang on a minute... wasn't this a wheat beer? A low carb wheat beer? That's kind of like beer's version of the healthy choice menu at McDonalds. What's the point?

It's like they are trying to aim the crosshairs at people who like to drink, but are watching their waist... but also trying to muscle in on the current craft beer explosion at the same time. I don't really know many beer aficionados who are trying to cut down on 'carbs'. But anyway...

I really try and not have a stigma towards mainstream brewers, as I have become somewhat of a beer snob, but they all taste so watery compared to craft beers. This is pretty much the same. It does have the attributes of a Belgian wheat beer... coriander and citrus, effervescent carbonation... but it feels like you've spilled your beer into a bucket of water but then strangely decided to just drink the bucket anyway.

A poor man's wheat beer. Good on a summer's day probably if the bottleo is sold out of everything else.

3.5/10

Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA

I hereby, on record, take back every bad thing I've ever said about American beers. I judged them mainly on their mainstream beers which is like judging rock music on Limp Bizkit and Hip Hop on Lil Wayne. Anyone who'd only drunk a Fosters or Draught would probably think we were a bunch of numb nuts when it came to beer as well. I hope that my cardinal sin will one day be forgiven.

This is brilliant. There is more fucking hops in this beer than during rabbit mating season. (See what I did there?). The initial taste explodes in your mouth, your tastebuds and nostrils filled with pine and bursts of fruit before a shotgun blast of bitter hop buck shot peppers your tongue.

The freshness and depth of the flavour is staggering, and normally a bitter aftertaste this strong can push me away but all it does is make you want to get the previous flavour back, so you take another swill. It's a 7.2% alcohol beer and you'll polish it off in about 37 seconds. You wouldn't even notice.

Best IPA I've ever drunk, hands down.

9/10

Mildura Brewery Honey Wheat

The next member of Mildura Brewery's entourage of brown bottled beverages is a honey wheat beer. I don't really like honey beers, and wheat beers are hit and miss so expectations are low.

This particular honey beer has fruity tones and a sweet spark to it. The honey element lacks that strange aftertaste that some other honey beers have. I like this better than the Bee Sting off memory. I haven't had a Beez Neez in ages, so this might be my favourite honey beer at this point.

It is very easy to drink, I could absolutely annihilate these on a sweltering summer day with some snags around a barby. There's not heaps of depth, but they are smooth, balanced and the sweetness is not overbearing.

Amongst the hive of honey beers, this is a bit more than just another drone.


6.5/10

Mildura Brewery Desert Premium Lager

Fuck off 'Premium'. You masquerade yourself as a beacon of superiority but have as much substance as a Hilton sister. Enough with this bullshit!

This is a very average lager. It has a strange fruityness to it which is not normally what you'd get from an Aussie Lager. I don't like it. I hadn't heard of this brewery before the last couple of beers, so did some research and one other person who drank it suggested it had banana it...? Maybe that's why, I don't like banana.

Anyway, it's just a strange, tame, fruity lager. It's fairly well balanced so I can understand why some other people would judge it less harshly, but I just personally flat out don't like the taste. It feels like a lager trying to be an ale but not really achieving anything on either side of the fence.

4/10

Byron Bay Premium Ale

I've now become very wary of the word 'Premium'. The beer world bandies it about with reckless abandon and most of the time 'Premium' beers turn out to be watery shit, boasting the same level of rich pedigree as the parents of Stephen Milne.

This, however, is one of the stranger offerings from the world of 'Premium' beers.

BYRON BAY is stamped across the bottle to garner attention, and then you notice that it is an 'ale' instead of a lager. Mostly lagers try and boost their appeal by tacking the word 'Premium' on to their title. So the psychology working here is that it appears to be a craft ale, but a fancier version, and it comes from Byron Bay long thought to be a mecca of coolness. "This beer will go great with my op shop cardigan and skinny jeans" they cried.

Luckily for me, I have a bullshit radar. I'm not even sure this IS an ale! It tastes like a malt lager and is very clear for an ale. The hops are hiding in the background and there is but a hint of bitterness in it's aftertaste. The feel to it is very weak compared to what you normally get in an ale.

It's not a horrible beer, it's drinkable but I just feel like someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes here. If it didn't have Byron Bay written all over it I'm not sure anyone would've taken notice of it. It's very malty, sweet and thin on substance. Not at all like I'd expect from a 'Premium Ale'.

4/10

Mildura Brewery Mallee Bull Heavy

When I saw this beer at the store and it was labelled 'Heavy', I kind of assumed it to be an agro IPA or some other evil elevated alcohol contraption.

Now that the bottle is closer to my face where I can inspect further, it is in fact an Amber. The brewers claim it to be 'unique' and best enjoyed in a loud setting with good food. Really I think all drinks are best enjoyed in a loud setting with good food, but nevertheless it was time to knuckle down on this copper coloured ale.

It's definitely one of those chocolate/toffee style ales, but it's not as distinct as some others I've had. The finish for me is where it falters a little bit. There is a sting at the end where the carbonation fires up and interrupts the flavour. The aftertaste is like a piece of bitter dark chocolate, but before you get it you're tongue is zapped. This attribute works for me on some floral, citrusy Pales but rarely Ambers.

It would be a good food beer, and would probably perform well with a nice steak but alas for me this was not on the menu tonight. Good effort, but had many better.

7/10

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

The Sierra Nevada is a mountain range in the US that spans California and Nevada. It's snowcapped peaks are emblazoned on the bottle of this pale ale which is apparently a very popular craft beer over in the states. Similar to James Squire or
Little Creatures in Australia, it's attributed to converting many mainstream beer drinkers into beer geeks.

And you can see why. The flavours are not overpowering, but the beer bursts and pops with malts and hops and floral tones and then lingers into a long bitter finish. It's very crisp and polished, and does not take one wrong step from start to finish.

While on one hand being refreshing, the long finish also leaves you wanting more and before you know it the bottle is empty and you're after another one.

For what this beer is, an American Pale Ale, it is close to perfection. Do I personally like it more than LC or JS? No. Would I argue with an American that disagreed? Probly not. It's a beer to be proud of.

8/10

Endeavour Pale Ale

Apologies for this short, vague review as I drank this at about 3pm on a day/night that then ended at 4am so memories are hazy.

Endeavour's Amber Ale was good, not great, but good enough and this is their offering of a Pale Ale.

It's pretty light on and flat across the flavour band, propped up primarily by fruity, floral tones and a clean finish.

It's a good beer, but is far too reserved to blow me away.



7/10

Wychcraft Blonde Beer

After dabbling in some Satanism I figured it wouldn't hurt to try some Wicca while I'm at it.

This is a UK beer with some fairly creative packaging from it's brewers. The bottle has witches on broomsticks pressed into the glass and a bit of fun labelling to boot.

I'm gonna be honest I don't even really know what 'Blonde' beer means, so I'm just gonna freestyle this as best I can.

It's 'thrice hopped' according to the label, and while hops are present I'm not really feeling a triple threat. It's rather citrusy, which I'm not always big on, but it goes alright in this instance.

It's also a bit...yeasty...if that makes sense. Kind of like...bread... with hops and citrus on it. Or something. A unique sandwich if I've ever heard one. The malts are tame so it's really the hops and citrus that hold down the fort, the only other flavour I can perhaps pick up on is eye of newt.

I wouldn't say this beer has cast a spell over me, but it's certainly not bad enough to be burnt at the stake. I'd say it's a slightly above average beer based on my own tastes, but I can see why some people would get into it.

6/10

Satan Gold

After sampling the various brews from monasteries and abbeys it was time to try something a little further south of the equator. As far south as you can go in fact.

THE PITS OF HELL.

Otherwise known as Belgium, for those without a sense of occasion.

The bottle design looks like it's been pulled right out of the 70's. If it's always the 70's in hell I don't really feel too bad about ending up there, as it seemed like a pretty damn good time to be alive.

Interestingly enough Beelzebub goes for a similar line to those of the monkhood. It's a full bodied, heavy Belgian ale with elevated alcohol at 8%. Rather than going for more of a sweet, floral approach like the Trappist beers, this focuses more on a nutty flavour. It sits heavy in the mouth, but the flavours are very smooth.

There's lots to take in here, it's sweet, spicy, nutty, peppery... it's definately an occasion beer and not a session beer. In that purpose though, it serves it role.

Good experience, if you're in to Belgian ales you'll dig it.

7.5/10

Duff Beer

Springfield's favourite beer has made it all the way to the shores of Australia (via Germany where this is actually brewed). Now don't lie, I know you've all wanted to sample the soapy suds of our favourite cartoon heroes Homer and Barney. Even though this is likely a marketing ploy, it still stirs up some excitement.

What is it about cartoon food and drink? It always looks tastier than anything that exists in the real world. I remember the pizza on Ninja Turtles used to look like the most delicious shit on the face of the earth.

As I eagerly took a swill of the bottle, I was instantly filled with disappointment. Dreams shattered, expectations battered and bruised.

It's a very strange tasting Euro/Germanic style lager. It's not badly done, everything is in reasonable harmony it's just the flavour is very weird. What you're really getting here is a mainstream German lager that is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

It's no wonder Moe was always struggling to make ends meet with only this on tap. If this is Duff, I'd hate to taste Fudd.

3.5/10

Chimay Red

All of the trappist monk beers are very complex affairs. As would be cheating on your wife with her sister. Who is her Siamese twin.

As soon as this touches your lips there is sweetness, spices, hops, malts... a whole world of flavour going on. It's a melting pot. It's kind of like one of those spicy fruit sweet biscuits your grandmother used to always have... but on a whole new level of awesome.

The elevated alcohol just adds some heaviness to the taste which is welcome, and it sits very nicely on the mouth. I wouldn't drink a bunch of them, it's an experience beer not a session beer.

It's not even in the ballpark of my normal tastes, but it's so well executed that I don't even care. It even looks unique... a deep browny, reddy, malty coloured beer made up of trillions of flavour packed granules, floating amongst the holy water. All marching towards the mecca that is my stomach.

Sometimes I think being a monk would be boring... but if it involves drinking this beer and kung fu, I'm in.

8.5/10

Red Hill Wheat Beer

Jesus, this is like Sanitarium's foray into alcoholic beverages. It's a dirty, cloudy looking wheat beer that is extra heavy on the wheat and carbonation. There's some weird flavours going on here... I'm really struggling to understand why I'm not that put off by it.

The flavours zig zag between floral and wheaty, and end in a carbonated sting. It's all over the shop.

It's like eating weet bix out of a flower bed and then slapping yourself in the face.

At least this brewery serves a purpose. They aren't just regurgitating copycat beers. Both of theirs, while off the mark for me personally, have been unique and possess character.

Wheat beer lovers, get into it, otherwise... it might not be your bag.

6.5/10

Red Hill Golden Ale

Red Hill.

As a very young child my only memory of Red Hill is driving there with a mate to his parent's holiday house, and on the way we got in a car accident that almost sent me head first through a window.

That's unfortunately what comes to mind whenever I hear 'Red Hill'.

But lets not dwell in the dreary past! For before me is a very light cloudy ale with a zesty, vibrance to it's body. It fizzes and tingles on your tongue, not in a cheap euro pilsner way, this is actually enjoyable. The flavours are quite subdued but have a spark to them that is quite unique.

It's almost not a beer!

It's light on the hops and malt, and fizzy and effervesent and almost...tangy. Almost like someone dropped a fruit tingle in my beer.

A very strange, but interesting beast. It's not my thing I have to say, it's not what I'm after in a beer... but still, kudos. It's creative at least.

7/10

Boatrocker Hopp Bier

Dear Eastern Europe - Land of the Pilsner,

Please take note.

Beer does not need to be bland and watery.

It does not need to taste like a glass of wineral water that has just been urinated in.

It IS possible to balance a beer's intial and aftertaste.

Hops are generally a vital ingredient in a good beer, use them.

Yours Truly,
Me

This is one of the better Pilsners I've drunk. It's has a lightly hopped, smooth citrusy beginning that fades into a very tame bitter finish. It's not the world's most exciting journey, but it is a positive one nonetheless. It is an interesting beer amongst a genre I find horribly boring.

Would be a great summer beer. I remember a beer called 'Alpha Queen' from these guys I used to love but haven't seen it for well over a year. Hopefully I stumble across it again.

7/10

Matilda Bay Alpha Pale Ale

God I love these guys. They might not make the single best beer but they have a large stable of very unique, creative solid beers. The Big Helga and Fat Yak are pearlers, and when I saw this Pale Ale on the shelf it had to be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

This is more of an American style Pale Ale. With a lighter, citrusy flavour but is still very full bodied and heavy on the pallate like the Fat Yak Pale Ale. Matilda Bay's beers always have a lot of meat on their bones, and at the end of the day you'd take Christina Hendricks over Kate Moss every time wouldn't you?

The flavour of the body is crisper but more subtle than a Fat Yak, but where the Alpha Pale Ale stands up is in the aftertaste which is sharp and bitter but still..delicious. I've been put off by many strong, bitter finishes before but this is perfect.

Brilliant. I want another one. Now.

9/10

Hargreave's Hill Hefeweizen

Most Hefeweizen's are enjoyable... but they work along a very fine spectrum. There isn't heaps of variety, and given that I am not an enthusiast it's hard to stay interested during this long haul. At first I really didn't rate this beer... as I wasn't really in the mood for a wheat beer and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

But then, after giving it some time to sink in, I decided that would be too harsh. At the end of the day, it is a good quality Hef.

The beer does look great, it's a cloudy yellow colour with a thick, creamy head. It's appearance is far superior to most beers you pour into a glass, but I am a man after substance rather than appearance when it comes to quenching my thirst. Anyone can polish themselves up to look appealing through a beer glass, and often all you are waking up to is a stain on the pillow and a pit full of regret.

Luckily, this unit backs ups its looks with some character. I imagine that on a hot summer's day, sitting in a beer garden holding a frosted pint of this beer is a pretty damn good place to be.

7/10

New Norcia Abbey Ale

Doth has bestoweth upon me this monastery style ale from our own backyard in WA. While it's not up to the scratch of your normal Belgian trappist monk style beer, it's a pretty damn good take on the artform.

Boasting 7% alcohol, but you would barely notice as she is smooth as velvet. It has that typical slightly sweet pinch to begin with, and then a lingering malty finish. Only just at the very end do you get a bit of extra warmth from the alcohol.

It does just lack that bit of punch that you normally get with these ales. So in conclusion, this beer is deserving of praise even if it doesn't reach biblical proportions. It remains pure to itself, and is almost good enough to betray your best mate for.

Almost.

8/10

Red Duck Pale Ale

The second beer I sampled from this Victorian brewery was a Pale Ale. The amber was solid, so I was expecting the same from the Pale.

My initial reaction is that it's somewhat enjoyable and makes you happy enough, but the whole affair is a bit low key with a touch of bitterness. Kind of like being at your mates shotgun wedding... when the bride is your ex.

The hops are tame, and the aftertaste is quite drawn out and strong. Maybe some people like this but I find it off balance. It's a Kanye style beer... nothing up top but plenty of junk in the trunk. I'm more of a T'n'A man.

It's also maybe a touch watery, which is odd for an ale like this.

6/10

Red Duck Amber Ale

Up from the pond waddles the next beer to the crease, another amber ale and this time from 'Red Duck' who are based in Victoria. This a richer amber ale than Endeavour's, with some strong toffee/caramel flavours supporting a malt driven base. I enjoy this style of amber ale as it gives a good contrast to the often fruity/citrus hop based pale ale.

The aftertaste is softer and not as bitter as the Endeavour also. It has less endurance, but it performs better for the duration. Quality over quantity. Sometimes a good quickie is all you need.

A solid inside, after dinner beer. Another Victorian microbrewery with some good product. I grabbed this from a small

shop/stand at the market, the next time I'm there I might fly south again for the winter.

7.75/10

Endeavour's 2010 Reserve Amber Ale

This particular brewery is going for a high class approach with it's winery style naming, and over-descriptive explanations of it's 'secret' brewing process.

For all we know it could be 2 blokes in a shed.

Nevertheless, it still achieved it's intention by getting me decidely excited to give it a try. I do like a good dark ale, and haven't had one for a little while. Given the blandness of the previous Lager, we can only go up from here.

Undoubtedly a chocolate/malt driven ale but just when you think you have it all figured out, there's a bitter twist that arrives and then lingers on the pallette afterwards. While a bit different and unexpected, it's not a bad move and is a pretty enjoyable beer.

The flavours are balanced, but a touch reserved compared to some other ambers. Solid beer, not a favourite, but a worthwhile endeavour... from Endeavour.

7/10

John Boston Premium Lager

Johnny B bashed out a fantastic Pale Ale at a Vietnemese Restaurant when I first sampled this Sydney brewery, so I was damn keen to delve into this 'Premium Lager'. I figured it was a failsafe.

But as the adage goes...prospect is often better than possession.

In what has come as a complete surprise, this is a soft, watery Pilsner like lager with barely a hint of hops or malt.
It's an unendearing clear pee-yellow colour without much of a head. There's just nothing here at all I'm excited about.
It's perhaps slightly better than most mainstream lagers, but it's staring up defeatedly at many other micro Lagers on the market.

A Run of the mill, average beer.

5/10

Monteith's Celtic Red Beer

Given some of the impressive 'red' beers I've had recently, I was expecting this to be amongst the contenders as Monteith's have some pretty good beers in their ranks, in particular the dark winter ale.

I can't imagine that your typical Irishmen would be too impressed with this number though. It claims to be smokey with a 'smooth chocolate maltiness' that will 'invigorate'. There is little smoke, and the 'chocolate' element is akin to an easter egg hunt... as you really have to dig and find it as opposed to it coming to you on it's own. I am as invigorated as I was during statistics lectures.

So all in all... it's a letdown. I had to sit here and concentrate to try and pick up on what the brewers claimed to be trying to achieve here. I'm somewhat of a novice with red beers, but this really seems to have missed the mark.

5/10

Hargrave's Hill Pale Ale

Following on from the summer style 4 Pines Kolsh, I turned the tables by sampling this ale which is more of a wintery affair.

Cloudy as the future of America's economy, Hargrave's Hill's version of a pale ale is something of an engima. It is unbalanced in it's attempt to be balanced. There is nothing outstanding about it's flavours, there's some malt, some hops, a sharp and bitter finish...but nothing is the dominant trait. So rather than be 'balanced' it feels more like you are missing out.

This is a strange beast, it's a decent beer, it's far from bad... but I just don't really want another one. It has nothing to hang it's hat on. It's a slightly above average beer if I am to cast a broad net.

6/10

4 Pines Kolsch

This is the first beer I've had from 4 Pines, who are a Manly based brewery. The name 'four pines' comes from a supposed place on the shoreline where four pinetrees were removed and a machine gun emplacement installed during World War 2.

I'm not sure if I've had a 'Kolsch' before or not, but after some quick research it seems to be a hop based pale lager that is prominent in Cologne. And after some quick swills, I'm starting to wish more lagers took this approach.

It really does taste like a pale lager, that has pinched some tricks from some lighter pale ales. It's very sharp and crisp, with a slight burst of hops. The aftertaste is barely bitter at all, making this a very sessionable lager. This really is what summer beers are all about. Clean and crisp with just enough flavour to keep you interested.

Because it is fairly 'light' in most areas, it's not going to reach dazzling heights but it is still a very impressive beer and I'm interested to try out some more beers from these blokes.

Those douches you come across that 'only drink imported beers' are really missing out. Australian beers are fucking awesome. We have a huge crop of solid breweries that are not only brewing Australian style beers, but perfecting foreign styles aswell.

8/10

Vale Dry

This is the second beer I've tried from McLaren Vale breweries, the first being a Pale Ale. From memory it didn't blow me away but was a solid beer. I wasn't expecting heaps from the lager, but just happened to be the one I reached for when I opened the fridge this evening.

The main word I'll use to describe this beer is balance. From the light hops to deeper malts to dry bitter finish, everything is subtle but very well balanced.

The labelling is basic, there's no marketing wank on the bottle, it just puts it's head down and does it's job without any fanfare. The one that flies under the radar. The quiet achiever.

It's one of the better lagers I've drunk, not adventerous enough to be elite but it's pretty good.

7/10