BBC FIGJAM

It's over 40 degrees today in Melbourne.  Despite the air con working it's hardest to douse the inferno, I am still stuck fast to my leather recliner.  It is to the point where difficulty is found separating the two entities, almost as if I have become one with the chair in a non-consensual embrace.  The only remedy for this matter is a delicious cold beer.  So what better occasion to crack out this limited edition IPA, hand crafted by none other than Nathan Buckley himself?

I kid, I kid.  The 'FIGJAM' is a 'on the side' single run by Burleigh Brewing Co from Queensland.  And If you don't know what FIGJAM means, then I suggest you go look it up.  BBC is another award winning Australian micro, and they have a couple of absolutely cracking beers.  Adversely, they have also pumped out a few that missed the mark.  Nevertheless I was quietly confident that this 650ml IPA would be worth ponying up the $9 required to hire it's services.

The tagline they are using for this beer is 'A heavyweight that's light on it's feet'.  It's no surprise then that this Mike Tyson-esque braggadocio is aptly followed by a four paragraph blurb that quite literally chews your ear off.  I'm thirsty, ain't nobody got time for that.

FIGJAM enters the auditorium with adequate fanfare, pouring a glorious deep golden orange with a soapy head, and a body so thick you would fail to see a stampeding hippopotamus coming at you through the other side of the glass.  An eruptive nose of fruit and hops wafts from the surface, making it all the more alluring.

After consuming a considerable amount of this IPA, I was left in a certain state of bemusement.  I can see what they were trying to do...  but I'm just not sure as to whether or not I am personally happy with the result.  The base flavours are well and truly buried under bitter hops, to the weight of Rosie O'Donnell riding a Diplodocus.  There's an episode of 'Dino Riders' I'm glad I missed as a child.  It's not over the top, it's bearable, but the overall product seems slightly confused.  It is light on it's feet, and the citrus flavours are nicely blended, but the SPAS-12 shotgun blast of hops just doesn't mix well.

I know it's an IPA, it has to be that way, but at the same time you have to either go big or go home.  This could have been a really nice Pale Ale with a curtailing of the hops.  Or it may even have been a cracking IPA with a boost in the supporting flavours, and a richer palette all round.  I know these guys are based in Queensland, so it's preferable to have a beer that is easy to drink in hot weather, but from where I'm (uncomfortably) sitting, this is a beer that lost it's identity somewhere along the way.

Still, good beer, but there are a host of better alternatives out there both locally and overseas.

7/10

Stone & Wood Jasper Ale

Stone & Wood are a Byron Bay brewery that took the local beer scene by storm with their award winning Pacific Ale.  The Pacific is a very light and fruity summer beer, so I was interested to see how they fared upon defecting to the dark side.  While I wasn't quite sure of the style they were aiming for with the 'Jasper Ale', the maroon label led me to believe it may be a red or amber ale.  For some reason I also couldn't get 'Ol' Jasper' from The Simpsons out of my head when staring at the bottle.

"Moonpies.  What a time to be alive."  Indeed.

Upon pouring the beer, all suspicions were laid to rest as a darkened amber colour filled the glass, with a rich streak of red, packing real depth and lacing.  Visually, it looks great.  I'm choosy with dark beers, but this one looked as solid  off the bat as a Dean Jones hook on a hard pitch.  Pale Ales tend to have that Hayley Williams 'ranga' sort of colour to them, whereas this is more of a Christina Hendricks blood orange, and it appears to pack the same junk in the trunk.  It was now time to investigate further.

I will give them this...  Stone & Wood do not conform to any trend.  They do not pigeonhole themselves, or try and reinvent the wheel.  Their own legacy is forged.  The reason this ale has an ambiguous title is that it brings with it a cavalcade of attributes that you could relate to various genres of beer.  It has the caramel hues that some APAs have, it has the nutty and sticky toffee feel of an amber, combined with the malt driven base of a red ale.  They've taken the better part of predominantly winter beers and forged their own indoor friendly gem.  Despite all of that interbreeding, this low carbonated affair goes down like an Italian soccer player during a light breeze, and is truly as well rounded as Karl Pilkington's head.

If anything, it's perhaps a touch restrained.  Some of these well crafted flavours could have been bigger, but I know that isn't necessarily their style.  S & W beers are well balanced and easy to drink.  This would be the textbook perfect dark beer to introduce to someone who has never ventured outside the realms of fizzy yellow swill.  A fellow who lives on Porters and Stouts might feel it to be a touch anorexic, but at the end of the day this beer finds it own spot on the shelf and holds it down.

Top stuff Stone & Wood.

7.5/10

Sail & Anchor Monkey's Fist

Today's patient under examination is a Pale Ale by a brewery named 'Sail & Anchor', from Fremantle in WA.  While this is all contentious, many do consider Sail & Anchor to be one of the pioneers of craft beer in Australia.  The founders started the brewery in the early 80's, also gave birth to Matilda Bay, and then were  involved with the legendary Little Creatures.  Such a prestigious pedigree must lend to a brilliant sense of excitement...  however all is not as rosy as the background suggests.  Sail & Anchor was bought out by Woolworths (ALH Group), the historical brewery then shut down, and operations moved to another location.  S & A is now a mere marketing operation by one of the giants of food & beverage in Australia, so it is hard to know what to expect, but my inkling is that this will be but a sheep in wolves' clothing.

The pour of the beer makes no attempt to allay this by wearing a traditional APA amber colour.  It looks nice, but on further inspection is completely transparent and clear as day.  The label pronounces that the Monkey's Fist packs a 'hidden punch' so perhaps this was all part of the plan.  Am I simply being lulled in to a false sense of security before a hop-fisted orangutan socks me in the jaw?

No.  No I am not.  

Unless they have hidden it in the surrounds of Area 51, this beer has about as much place in the world of 'punch' as Gary Glitter does in childcare.  There are some stone fruit flavours, and a graze of hops, but all in all listening to a Kim Kardashian monologue about paint drying to the soundtrack of 'Titanic' is a more exciting prospect than drinking this again. There's always a feeling of disenchantment when you sit down to enjoy something you love, and then find yourself wishing it would just hurry the fuck up and finish.  Transformers 2 being the pinnacle of such emotions.

The bottle says that it packs a hidden punch, a knock-out blend of hops, and a tingling bitter aftertaste.  You would struggle to find a copywriter so willing to stamp such bullshit on a campaign, but I guess Mitt Romney's writers are now looking for ways to pay the bills.

To be fair though, it isn't a horrible beer.  Politics aside, it is just a very weak, run of the mill APA that the industry just does not need.  There are far worse beers, and from memory it was very reasonably priced.  For someone already jaded with the world however, seeing a massive corporate behemoth gut a microbrewery just to don it's skin and prance about like 'one of the little guys' leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Literally and figuratively.

5.5/10

Dogfish Head India Brown Ale

Tonight announces my return to the world of beer following a brief period of whisky drinking, primarily due to an overindulgence on the former during the Spring Carnival and festive season, which came to a head on a certain day where just as much beer exited my stomach as did enter it... but that will remain another story.  Now I don't mind a nice Scotch or Irish Whisky, but it's not something you can really drink all the time, and in my opinion they are not capable of quenching a thirst the same way a great beer does.  

While standing over the wok this evening sizzling up a stir fry, I had a sudden Zen moment where I triumphantly decided... 'It is time to return'.  So without hesitation, I kicked the mistress to the curb and decided to stay true to the one I love most.  Upon opening the fridge to embark on a scouting operation to obtain intel on potential targets, I located an 'India Brown Ale' by Dogfish Head.  If you didn't already know, these guys mean serious business, and a number of their Ales have scored very highly amongst my reviews.  If you ever happened to catch 'Beer Wars' or 'Brew Masters' on Discovery, Dogfish Head was the brewery most prominently featured.  They quite often are behind some of the craziest shit in the industry, including a green beer brewed with algae.  They have even taken residue from archaeological digs, and attempted to recreate beer recipes as far back as 9000 years old!

I am going to be quite forthright in saying that I didn't even know what an 'India Brown Ale' was.  I know Brown Ales, and I know India Pale Ales...  but not necessarily an 'India Brown Ale'.  My initial guess is that this is some Frankenstinian combination of the two, that an unsupervised brewer mashed together in a rust ridden shed on a stormy night, reaching to the lightning and cackling towards the thunderous sky.  "It's Alive!" he would have shouted, had that not already been the tagline for their algae beer...

The pour of the beer is quite brilliant.  Even though it advertises as a brown ale of sorts, I was not expecting such a punishingly dark colour.  The look is almost like a Guinness sans the froth. The visual appearance really is great, and not all dark beers can say that, and despite not being a huge dark beer fan I was aching to get a taste. This is also where it gets difficult to describe.  There is so much going on here, in such a subtle fashion, that it truly has to be experienced rather than told.  This is like 'The Matrix' of beers.  There is caramel and brown sugar, there are dark roasted malts, there is bitter chocolate, there is the unmistakable wallop of hops...  BUT...  everything has been constructed so carefully and with such delicacy that the intimidation factor of this beer is miniscule.  This is better than building a perfect house out of playing cards, they've done it with Tetris blocks.

Fucking bravo.  This is an incredible achievement and an astonishing effort.  By no means is this my favourite beer, it would only be on the fringes of the ballpark, but purely in recognition of the talent and ability required to actually create this number I have to show respect where it is due.

God I love beer.

8/10

Temple Pale Ale

After Gage Road's less than inspiring Lager, the decision was made to return to my go to style of beer - the American Pale Ale.  These days the APA market is as gargantuan as Felix Baumgartner's testicles, and breaking into it is about as easy as bobsledding down a sand dune.  Temple is a brewery based on the northern side of the Yarra, in the hipster haven of Brunswick, and they have written the word 'beer' in no less than seven different languages on the bottle.  Not unlike a menu from a Fitzroy restaurant.  They have a decent range of beers from what I've seen on the shelf, but this will be the first cab off the rank for yours truly.

The pour of the beer is admittedly underwhelming.  The initial appearance is attractive, like a glass full of darkened honey in colour, but the body does present a bit like Kate Moss after a 3 day bender where she's only managed to eat a Salada and three Tic Tacs.  There is no haze or granulated elements in the body, it's just a clear glass of beer.  Lacking is that solid oomph that the stronger Pale Ales tend to pull off.

Taste-wise however, it doesn't really take many wrong steps.  The supporting flavours are very delicate, which does work seamlessly with the smooth feel of the beer.  Imagine headbutting a silk pillow, covered in caramel, malt and nuts.  It's all very laid back, except for the usual life of the party.  The hops aren't hiding away in the corner, and are as pronounced as John Travolta's chin during a 3D screening at IMAX.  It feels slightly off kilter at first, and while the pendulum never quite returns to center, there's enough balance to earn a passing grade.  If you like a smooth, hopped Pale Ale, then this is a solid beer.  Those who are looking for more of a firecracker will probably be disappointed.

There's enough to go off here to say that I would be interested in trying some other beers from Temple.  There is a time and a place for everything, and while this would never be my first choice, on a hot day it would still trump the watery beers that most people go for under these conditions.  I'm looking at you Corona.

6.5/10

Gage Roads Premium Lager

The last Gage Roads' beer that I had was their ambitiously titled 'Atomic Ale', which was most certainly a tasty and sessionable ale, but the problem with the marketing of that beer was that it was in fact about as atomic as Ethiopia's nuclear weapons program.  It was overall a very restrained and safe pale ale, that never quite picked up the nerve to take off it's seat belt.  It's probably logical to assume that a lager from the same brewery is not going to bring the house down, but given it was on sale and I was thirsty, in to the trolley it went.

Anyone that has been around the block once or twice on the beer circuit knows that seeing the words 'Premium', and 'Lager',  together on a bottle is more likely the firing of a warning shot to send you running, rather than a cunning ploy to lure drinkers in to a delicious ambush.  You see it all the time on a big brewer's labels, when in actual fact what lurks inside is watery fizzy yellow crap that you would only otherwise drink at an office christmas party or a wedding, because it's free and, well let's be honest, it still does the job when consumed in large quantities.  'Premium' in the beer world is more an attempt at compensation, rather than braggadocio.  It is the Porsche Cayenne of beer basically.

Gage's entry in to the world of 'Premium Lagers' starts off with a bang the size of a small cap gun, being fired by a midget, riding a Shetland pony.  The beer pours a light amber/yellow colour, with a weak fizz that eventuates in to nothingness.  The excitement I felt while eyeing off the glass was reminiscent of the the first time you watched Matrix Revolutions.  You know they've probably fucked it up, but you can always hope for the best.  The feel of the beer is sharp, and the carbonation has that biting sting to it.  It's slightly overkill and makes the beer feel artificial in my eyes.  The flavours though, are not bad at all.  The taste is light and grassy, with feint grains and malts.  Nothing exciting at all, but it's all taped together well enough that it doesn't fall apart on you like a Chinese motorcycle.

This is not a terrible beer, nor is it a good beer.  It's a 'slightly-better-than-the-big-guys' lager, but to be frank there are better alternatives on the market if you're into the bottom fermented variety of the world's favourite beverage.  I don't recommend you go out and buy it, but if you had to choose between this and a Pure Blonde or something, then Gage Roads would win by a nose.

4.5/10

2012 Sierra Nevada Southern Hemisphere Harvest Fresh Hop Ale

Last year I tried the 2011 SN Northern Hemisphere Harvest, which is described as a 'wet hop' ale as opposed to the 'fresh hop' ale moniker that adorns the version derived from the bottom end of the Earth.  Drinking that beer was a gargantuan undertaking, as it was the equivalent of 3.8 standard drinks, and the 'wet hop' element meant that the hops were added without being dried out first, and I can sure as hell tell you it made a difference.  The oily bitterness was a synergy of pain and pleasure that has to be experienced rather than be explained.  Or you could perhaps just go to an S & M Club.  50 shades of hops.

Being a North American brewer, I was not aware that they did a Southern version and was keen to give this one a whirl.  While 'fresh hops' sounds more enticing and less deadly than 'wet hops', I imagine the difference is akin to nothing more than trading in a taipan bite for that of a tiger snake.

Sierra Nevada beers always look great in the glass and this is no exception to the rule.  The beer pours a rich amber/orange colour, synonymous with this type of beer, below a soft fluffy head.  To give you a firmer idea of the colour, think a jar of rich marmalade.  Resinous hops are at the forefront of the beer as is to be expected, but the delivery is far more familiar than when I sampled the 'wet hop' version.  There isn't that same sock to the jaw.  You can look at it from different angles I suppose, there is not as much of a surprise element here, but at the same time it's easier to digest.  Along with the heavy handed hops, there are tones of citrus and caramel, and in the end the combination bears the fruits of a brilliant IPA.

It is an expensive beer, and I'm having an internal battle with myself as to whether it is worth the price of admission or not.  Sometimes when you drop this amount of coin on a rare once off beer then you want somewhat of a unique experience.  If you've been around the block once or twice with Sierra Nevada and IPAs in general then you won't be caught off guard here.  What you will get though, is a fantastic IPA.  Should you be asking more than that?  I am not entirely sure.  So on that note, I will give it the same score as the Northern Hemisphere version and let you decide for yourself.

8.5/10