Red Duck White Garden

I had been wanting to keep reviewing beers on a more regular basis, but alas, life has gotten in the way.  After weeks of drinking cases of the same beer, over and over, I decided the funk must be broken.  There were a few random stowaway beers at the back of the fridge, and the first one I picked up was Red Duck's White Garden.  Red Duck are a very small brewery based in Victoria, whose wares I have sampled before.  In general, they are an above average brewer so I wasn't intimidated by the chances of this one being a dud.

It's hard to imagine what one might be doing when entering 'White Garden'.  You could simply be walking in to a large collection of daisies, or perhaps the ceremonial grounds of the Ku Klux Klan.  The write up on the label describes the ale as a mixture of various malts, combined with Raspberry and Rhubarb Jam.  Boy, that escalated quickly.  I wasn't expecting

'White Garden' to be the moniker of a beer brewed with condiments that are, for the most part, red.  The name is all in the appearance.  The ale pours a very light whitish/yellow, and hardly even looks like a beer.  The body is not translucent however, and has a serious murkiness to it.  It is littered with 'floaters', and resembles the Atlantic Ocean amidst the aftermath  of the Titanic.  Much like the disastrous event, the majority of these floaters perilously sink to the bottom.  We all know there was room for two people on that piece of wood Kate Winslet, you selfish bitch. 

If you've followed my reviews you'll know that I don't often pay much to credence to the appearance and 'nose' of a beer, unlike many other wankfest beer writers, but Jesus Christ the smell that eminates from this beer is something horrific.  The aroma is confoundedly tart, almost to the point of being rotten.  Basically, it smells like Madonna.  I know you probably think I'm being comedic here, but I honestly would not be surprised if Madonna smelt like this beer.

Just when you think you may have some sort of a grasp over this concoction, you end up taking a sip.  It doesn't taste like raspberry, or rhubarb.  The sweetness you might have been expecting has been brutally beaten to death by what can only be described as a sour mess.  The feel of the beer is flimsy and watery, and adds nothing to the overall experience whatsoever.  I cannot think of any circumstance that anyone would 'want' to drink this.  Then just to add insult to injury

as you approach the final third of the drink, which is a considerable amount, you are confronted with a naval minefield of floating crap that not even the Red October could navigate it's way through.

The overall 'taste' of the beer is not bad, it's drinkable, but the entire package as a whole is unrefined, unnecessary, and essentially useless.  Avoid.

3.5/10