Peroni Gran Riserva

Peroni is one of my favourite Euro Lagers. That doesn't really say a hell of a lot though, because the euro pale lager/pilsner market for the most part is about as exciting as watching paint dry on Gordon Brown's face while he conducts a speech on economic policy. This 'Gran Riserva' is, I'm assuming, an attempt at marketing a 'Premium' batch. I can't say I'm expecting much more than a slightly bulkier version of their normal fare.

Not exactly on point there. It pours a darker yellow than I expected, and looks weightier than a run of the mill fizzy Euro lager. Have you ever had that sweet sticky malt honey? We randomly had one of those old school milkshake makers from the 50s when I was a kid, and used to keep some malt honey around to make malted chocolate milkshakes. That's the best comparison I can make with this beer. It's almost sickly sweet, and tastes like being beaten to a pulp with a malt stick. Hops arrive fashionably late to the party, but by this point it's almost insignificant.

Much like a goat with the head of a duck, this is a strange beast. It certainly has more depth than a Peroni... but is the depth necessary? Peroni's are very refreshing and easy to knock back, but that aside have the personality of Lara Bingle. This beer has far more to talk about... but are the topics really that interesting? It's a bit of a weirdo. I'll let you decide on your own.

5/10

Ambar Pale Ale 1900

I've had a few lagers lately, so I thought to myself... "Gee I'd like a nice ale tonight". After flicking through some of the beers in my fridge I came to this, 'Ambar Pale Ale 1900'. Any Pale Ale that has been around for over a hundred years must be alright hey? Even if it ends up run of the mill, it's still better than a bog stock lager isn't it? Even though the label looks like it was made on MS Word 97, it can't be THAT bad can it? If 'Yes' is the answer to those questions then we are like minded.

From the moment I poured this beer in to the glass, I was thinking WTF. It poured a fizzy lemon yellow euro piss lager colour, and smelt quite odd. Okay. You can't always be too judgmental at this point, so let's wait and see what it tastes like...

Get fucked. This is as much a Pale Ale as Katie Perry is a candidate for Mensa. It tastes like a mass produced, bottom of the barrel lager. I am increasingly angry at the fact it is parading itself as a Pale Ale. Maybe it was top fermented and has been labelled as such on a technicality, but regardless of the fact, you can't put this shit in a bottle and label it a Pale Ale.

Mind state is more important with food and drink than a lot of people give it credit for. Ever drunk a VB after a 1 point win, compared to a 50 point belting? It tasted different didn't it? This is not dissimilar, I am so disappointed in this beer that it feels right now like one of the worst beers I've ever drunk.

2/10

Pistonhead Low Ridin Lager

This is an interesting looking lager, bearing the title of 'Pistonhead'. According to the can, it is a 'smooth brew for the laid-back hot rodder'. Interesting angle I guess... to predominantly target yourself at an ever shrinking crowd of gearheads. I do like the design on the can, and it is striking, and I am a bit of a petrol head myself. This beer is from a mecca of motoring, where you ask? Not Detroit. Not Bathurst. STOCKHOLM. Yes that's right, it's bloody Swedish!

Pistonhead's 'Low Ridin Lager' pours a completely transparent yellow, looking slightly tacky to be honest. Doesn't look appealing at all. There is a slightly fizzy lager head, but that's about it. The taste is very light, and clean, and the prominent flavours are malt and honey. The afertaste is heavily hopped for a lager, but it is too little too late. It hasn't been tuned properly, the engine stalled off the line, and by the time it has shifted in to gear the flag has already been waved.

Pretty disappointing beer really. It's fairly easy to put down, and would go OK as a summer beer, but for a land that doesn't experience summer it kind of renders itself unnecessary. Frankly it isn't good enough to be a major imported beer, I believe they have a wider range so I hope to high hell some of those are more leadfooted on the throttle.

4/10

Na Biretta Chiara

This is an Italian Pilsner style lager, in a very fashionable receptacle. This beer looks ready to stroll down the catwalk in Milan, throwing down a Blue Steel or two. While it did look slightly on the fancy side, I wasn't expecting too much. This is usually the best setting, when expectations are low, and this would turn out to be none different. The NBC pours a cloudy golden colour with a frothy head, and does look fantastic for a lager. It definitely appears chunkier than what I expected for a Euro Pilsner.

This Pilsner is hugely refreshing, staying nimble without being watery. Grains, malts, and a bitter hopped finish. Very basic, but well produced. The Na Biretta Chiara has a lot of life to it, it's almost the Alfa Romeo of lagers. I say almost because it certainly isn't as daring as an Alfa, and the bottle didn't break on the way home from the bottle shop.

This is a killer summer beer though, very easy to drink, and more depth than a Peroni or something of the like. Great Italian beer, like most lagers it isn't going to knock up a huge score, but it's at the top of it's restricted class. Quite possibly the best Italian beer I have drunk. Haven't had any others in a while to accurately compare, but it's at the very least on par.

6.5/10

Murray's Punch and Judy's Ale

Murray's are the shit. I love how they haven't just done the "We'll do one of those, and one of those and one of those" in terms of their lineup. They have a whole swag of different Pale Ales, and every single one is deserved of it's place on the roster. This one advertises itself as a low alcohol (which I wasn't aware of pre-purchase) beer that defies the notion
that dropping the concentration leads to reduced flavour.

The AHV however is 3.9%. Still over one standard drink. It's a strong mid-strength. So, one must wonder what was the point? It doesn't really give you that much room to breathe if you are trying to stay under .50 as opposed to a full strength beer? You know what? It doesn't fucking matter, because this is freaking delicious. The dark golden brown ale puffs out a huge frothy head, and washes down quicker than Paris Hilton's gynecologist. Sweet malts, bursting fruits, bitter hops. There is a touch less bite to it, but you can't knock the taste.

I suppose this barely classifies as a mid strength, and it is damn near the best I've ever had. LC's Rogers Beer is very good, and this is around the same level. After a long Christmas day it was a good night cap after a day of drinking Coronas. A tried and true session beer.

8/10

Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Urbock

Well that's a name and a half. 'Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier Urbock', sounds almost like the title of a wealthy German lord. The label has been constructed in such a way, that it looks like it could be a secret document drawn up by a Bavarian pirate fluent in the art of treasure map cartography. Upon finding the only sembelence of the English language on the bottle, it appears this a smokebeer.

I am not even fucking with you right now. This beer smells like bacon. I had to ask my girlfriend to whiff it just convince myself I hadn't gone insane. What sorcery is this? I am left pondering what delights or horrors await me inside this glass. I've had some beers that have been 'smoked', and often stouts are a bit burnt, but I'm unsure as to whether I've had something that smells like the aftermath of an inferno at a pig pen.

The taste is something to behold. It tastes like planting your tongue on smoking embers of wood. Hits very heavy at first, and I was left wondering how I was going to get through a 500ml bottle for a moment. Gradually as you burst through the clouds of ash and in to the open, some sweetened malts start to waft by to slightly counteract the smoke. The finish is sour and bitter, but not necessarily in a bad way.

Haven't had too many bock beers so this is still a new experience. I can't say that it tastes amazing because at the moment it's a touch intense. This is definitely a 'grow on you' style of beer. Still, it feels like a very well crafted beer and I'd be game to give it another go. I had always wondered what it would be like to faceplant in to a campfire, so at least I can check that one off this list for now.

7/10

Moa Pale Ale

Why the hell have I never heard of these guys before now? Moa is officially one of the best Kiwi brewers I've ever come across. Monteith and Macs have been the most talked about in my experience. Moa is right up there. I'm not even going to pad out the suspense till the end, I'm just gonna say straight off the bat that this is a fantastic American style Pale Ale.

It pours a browny/orange colour, with swirling clouds and snarling carbonation as it leaves the bottle. I remember the lager was similar, tamer, but similar. I don't know if the Ruination really did ruin my taste buds, like yesterday's Red Ale, this APA is noticeably bitter due to the immense presence of hops. All I can taste initially is hops. Sweet roasted malts sneak through with a hint of caramel, but it's all just some wrapping paper around the box of hops.

Hugely refreshing, perfectly carbonated, smooth and bitter. Really enjoyed this. The beer is smooth but aggressive at the same time in a daringly unique way. It's like Nate Dogg...if he gotten bitten by a rabid raccoon during a 3 day speed bender. I recommend this to anyone who likes Pale Ales. I will just finish with one thing though... they could probably do without the deceptively large and heavy bottle. It looks huge...it's just a 375. The glass is just thicker than Kirsty Alley's left thigh. The beer is pricey enough already without this not so necessary encasing.

8/10